A Conversation between Ferret and Bookworm

This one's for people who've read Harry Potter or seen the movie. You won't understand it otherwise.

Time period: 8^th year, after the War

Malfoy and Hermione have come back to attend Hogwarts

xx....................................................................xx

Hermione was at her favorite table in the library, immersed in yet another ginormous tome. Of course, the Ferret had to choose that moment to disturb her.

“Granger, I have decided to do a kind deed and help the pathetic in need.”

She rolled her eyes behind her tome. “Do I even want to know?” she asked warily.

“Of course! You’re the one who’s always nagging with this ‘redeem yourself’ nonsense.”

“I have also told you that kindness should be done out of the goodness of one’s heart. You’re not supposed brag about it.” 

Honestly, the boy had such a huge ego!

“Pssht! I’m a Malfoy. We proudly display our acts of generosity. Well, unless it’s got something to do with a transaction between us and the Wizarding World’s Most Wanted.”

“Oh, that’s right. You’re a bunch of sneaky, vile Slytherins. How could I ever forget?”

“Careful, Granger. Anymore sarcasm and my robes will catch fire. They’re very expensive and custom-made, I’ll have you know. If they’re harmed I’ll make you pay for a new one.”

“Whatever, Malfoy. Let’s hear about this good deed of yours.”

“Thought you’d never ask. I have enlisted, for this act of kindness, the help of the best. Behold: Crabbe and Goyle!”

Hermione narrowed her eyes. “I don’t like where this is going”, she muttered.

“Shut it. And sit still, Granger.” 

Malferret turned to address his two lackeys. “Crabbe. Goyle. Start immediately.”

“Crabbe what are you doing? I know from experience never to let a Slytherin behind your back. Malfoy why is your henchman behind me? Is this some sort of ploy? I swear I’ll scream if you try anything!”

Malfoy looked exasperated. “Relax, Granger. Which part of ‘sit still’ do you not understand? For someone with brains as big and overachieving as yours, you sure are slow on the uptake.”

At Hermione’s confused expression, he shook his head in amusement. “That’s my act of kindness toward the pathetic. I will tame that monstrosity you call hair, Granger, and relieve the rest of world from having to witness it.”

That's it. Ferret was going down.

“You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!”

“Don’t you insult me you bushy-haired swot!”

“I can insult you whenever the heck I want!”

“You’re less than dirt beneath my shoe, you filthy little mudblood!”

“You’ve got that the other way round, Ferret. Remember how we kicked your stuck-up, prejudiced, pureblood arses in the war? You’re nothing but the son of a Deatheater!”

Malfoy’s features twisted into a sneer. “That’s low, Granger. Aren’t your lot supposed to be the noble ones?”

“Nothing is below the belt when it comes to Slytherins, Ferret.”

“I AM NOT A FERRET! And that was three freakin’ years ago! Will you let go?!”

Madam Pince had had enough. 

“This is a library, Mr. Malfoy! Lower your voice or leave!” she barked.

Hermione smirked, lips shaping into a mocking smile. Malfoy glared at her.

“I think ‘Ferret’ defines you perfectly”, she went on in a whisper. “Did you know that ferrets are a member of the weasel family?”

The implications were not lost on Malfoy. He exploded. “How dare you compare me to Weasley, you filthy little mudblood?”

“That does it! Out, Mr. Malfoy! Out!”, yelled Madam Pince, making her way over to drag Malfoy and his sidekicks away by force.

“You should really come up with some new insults Malfoy. This mudblood thing is getting old.” Hermione said with a bored expression.

As Madam Pince grabbed his arm, Malfoy shot one last glare toward the triumphant girl laughing at him.

“I hate you.”

“The feeling, you slimy Slytherin, is entirely mutual.”

With that, Hermione went back to the book that had been neglected for entirely too long and Malfoy failed in yet another scheme to rile up the Gryffindor Lioness.  

Author's Note

Review!

Reviews

[Usman Muhammad]

Wow Iris this piece is wonderful. You did amazing job by creating such scene which looked almost real.
Your dialogues are very realistic and speak for themselves and that is not something easy to write while writing a story. I really liked your story.
Keep writing and stay blessed.

[Iris]

Thank you for taking the time to review and for the compliments. It is greatly appreciated.

[Woody]

I have to first admit that some of the references here were lost on me. I've read only the first Harry Potter and that, long ago. I did watch a couple of films though. still I managedd to picture the scene here. and I like that. good snappy dialogue. quite funny. push over, J.K. Rowling!

[Iris]

Merci beaucoup.

[Woody]

tout le plaisir est pour moi :)

[Ana]

This is hilarious! I read the Harry Potter books but wasn't such a huge fan, so I wasn't expecting this to be as funny as it was. Is this after the last book happened? It's been such a long time, and this is embarrassing but this war Hermione talked about, it was in the last book, right? I love Malfoy's sarcasm!

[Iris]

Glad you liked it so much, and yes this is set immediately after the last book disregarding the epilogue. After the Battle of Hogwarts (last book) Hermione went back to complete her education. I'm assuming Malfoy did too.

[Girl With A Pen]

I like this. I've seen all the Harry Potter movies but I cannot say I am a fan. I'm sorry, I am a ferret mommy so I didn't like the use of ferrets in the movie. Never the less, I really enjoyed your story. You really knew Hermione and Malfoy's hatred for one another and the snappy come backs to one another was very enjoyable! :) Thank you for sharing

[Iris]

I meant absolutely no offence with the 'ferret' comments. It's nice to know that you liked the story regardless. Thank you so much!

[Girl With A Pen]

Haha, I took no offence to it and your stroy is very well written, I cannot wait to read more!

[Iris]

thank you!

[Shivai]

Harry Potter fan here!! Omigosh I loved the piece. Nicely done
love shivai

[Iris]

Harry Potter here we come! You're a fan? You don't know how much of a relief that is. Thank you for the compliment!

[Shivai]

You're welcome!
Harry potter

[Confuser]

Iris: I really enjoyed it: I couldn't stop laughing at some points; You are a very good writer with a wonderful imagination. The content is wonderful and it is something, JK would be proud of too. Would never have thought of expanding on Harry Potter and I suppose I am a child at heart and loved it. Your descriptions and details expanded the visual affects and it's seriously a very good read. I hope you continue; immaculate way to begin a day!! LOL and imagining the Ferret; so many great lines. Thank you so much! Please write some more! Dale

[Iris]

Thank you so much Dale. Believe me your review made my day. I hoped that my writing would be humorous and I'm glad you think so. I really appreciate your compliments. I have a book called Collected and maybe you could read and tell me what you think in your review? Thank you so much!

[Confuser]

Iris: I cannot promise, but will try...got like almost 700 requests. But I so loved this! Keep writing.:D

[Iris]

Just do what you can. No pressure :) And thanks a lot.

[Confuser]

Thank you Iris: have a great week-end!