My love

Where are you my love, hear out my call
I am looking for the brightness of your eyes
When their light kidnaps me into your soul…
Your soul, the most beautiful place
I’ve ever seen, the safest place I’ve ever been.
I’m missing your strong hands shape
As the greatest sculpture there it is
To run down my hair and my face
Softly touching my eyes and my lips…
Streaming on my neck and my chest
Looking for my heart, the treasure within,
When my life it is already in your hands
My heart that beats only along your heart.
My love, take my hands into yours, never let go
Embrace me into you, my happiness
Imprinting the love into our blood
Giving us a sense of completeness.

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
I enjoyed your words ... can I make a tiny suggestion???
I think if you separated the lines into sections it would be a stronger poem...
Maybe a few lines at a time..and more punctuation would make it read better..
I am no expert ....but...

Where are you my love?
Hear out my call ...
I am looking for the brightness of your eyes,
when their light kidnaps me into your soul …
the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen,
the safest place I’ve ever been.
I’m missing your strong hands shape.

Just food for thought...
I really never do any editing for other poets..but I so likes your words..
Lisa, now in Spain

[Ioana Mihai]

Thank you very much for your review and suggestions. The separation into chunks may help. I only used full stop in between them. And not a lot of punctuation, leaving some freedom to the reader for a personal interpretation. Also I was avoiding to add too much punctuation aesthetically and visually.
Although adding what you suggested could have highlighted more my own perception of this poem. Thank you kindly 😊

[Lisasview]

You are most welcome...
I really do think it will help...Easier to read when spaced well and punctuated..When it is not it just looks like a page from personal journal rather than a poem..if that makes sense.
Just play around with it and see what you think works best.
Lisa, early in Spain

[Franky]

I love it! Kinda exciting too. Sweeeeeeet! 🥰🥰

[Ioana Mihai]

Thank you for your lovely review 😊
I like to write love poems, the way I feel, see or contemplate about love

[Franky]

You're skilled at that.

[Ioana Mihai]

Maybe, thank you

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! So beautiful and romantic. I hope he needs your call and answers it. He will be a fortunate man.
So many good lines to quote.

[Ioana Mihai]

Thank you so much for your lovely review… I hope he’d exist and my poem dreams may come true :)

[Sami Khalil]

Best wishes. You are welcome.