Empty shell casing

The empty shell casing fell lipstick stained

An empty shell casing...
lip stick stained
bounced
from porcelain to marble slab
as her frozen smile
caught forever in a fractured image
bloodied
and smeared with tears
of rage
regret
and wasted kisses.

Her freshly painted smile
ran away from her lips..
as again the casing
tolled
in stone flaggoned bell
the death
of love
their life
their once so happy home.

Suicide an option
but so was hot chocolate
as baser insticts won...
Her hands
and her lips warmed by
his sweet touch
she felt
maybe I never suited that shade

good riddence to it's smile.

Author's Note

Options is a range of flavoured hot chocolate drinks in England.

Just showing hope when all seems lost

Reviews

[.]

ha...missed that options line!! Duh!!

your versitility shows throw when you free verse..a powerful image is created in the first verse..and follows through with a poignant message..nice work

[Robert Haigh]

Interesting and quite creative write. The "suicide" line seems rather flippant, but in the context of the poem I think it works. I don't give ratings, but this is a good poem.

" Her freshly painted smile ran away from her lips.. " I see it running... vividly,
The little fustrated secrets in this poem, yet they are sparkling. Lovely read. As I like them of you, messages within~

[bookworm]

You are clever indeed...love the hot chocolate reference. :)

But my favorite line was:

"as her frozen smile caught forever in a fractured image"

I really appreciate your formal yet approachable manner...makes it quite a pleasurable read. For example, "the casing tolled in stone flaggoned bell" feels quite formal like an expression Poe would use, but then the remainder of the poem feels more contemporary with the hot chocolate and lipstick references. I enjoy contrasts such as this, so this piece was particularly appealing to me for that reason.

[J Todd Underhill]

Love this write the line that caught my eye is "Suicide an option, but so was hot chocolate" this stood out to me so much I wished I had thought of it! wonderfully done!

[Cassie Fraga]

**tips my lyrical wand to you**
I have I told you lately that you are effin awesome!!!
you have a way with words like no other!! able to catch the reader right off the start and hold them there in your image of whatever it is... TALENT!!
PURE TALENT!!!

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

OH! Chilling......................love this one.

[Daytonight]

I love the idea of choosing hot chocolate...seems a wonderful idea to me...some warm and comforting. Well done dear brother. Keep on penning.

[god is not great, I am]

Great illustration. You've got a talent for putting together a picture made from words. not all the people on here can do this, good for you!