Sorry, I really am.

If I could, I would take it all back. Rewind, renew, all that wishing bullshit.

I would be good to you, we wouldn't have fought all those times, we would fight the world together. I wouldn't have turned on you for such idiotic reasons, I would do everything in my power to make sure that you knew how much I loved you, how much I need you in my life.

It's a terrible feeling, but I know that I deserve to suffer through it. Nothing in my life has felt so bad for such an extended period of time, and I am so sorry.

I dream of apologizing in the rain, the snow, the heat. I dream of you angry, happy, and sad. I miss those nights where we slept together, loving each other, everything perfect and nothing to bother us.

But those days ended. They ended because of me, and there is nothing that I can do to take it back.

I've changed, I've realized what an a*****e I've been to everyone I've been around. Always blaming, never taking responsibility. I've changed everything bad, and turned it into a strength.

I don't smile.

I don't joke.

I don't poke fun.

The thought to be happy doesn't even occur to me anymore, because I've lost the only person worth being happy with, and it crushes me.

I lost you. I lost you and it was entirely my fault.

I spend my days, nights, work hours, and sleep hoping that you'll call me, come see me, drop in, or maybe just text me.
I hope for a second chance that will never come.

and it's killing me.

I'm sorry.

Reviews

[Meraki]

I know that feeling all too well and it's been months, still hasn't gone away... you captured it perfectly.