Darkness

I have this darkness

That no one knows

Where everyone feels heartless

No matter what I do it always grows

When it captures me 

I feel like I'm lost for eternity.

Going down,

Spinning round and around,

Surrounded by darkness,

In a world where everything's so heartless,

I'm alone,

Trapped in a room of stone,

Where no one can hear me shout,

And there's no way out.

Reviews

[Blackheart]

Beautiful. The way you express the emotions are really amazing.

[Dead]

Thanks I actually wrote this around to years ago but found out about this site from an ex bestfriend (bunch of drama you don't wanna hear) and I started editing and putting them on here.

[Blackheart]

Even I started the same way. I found this site when one of my friends posted a poem and shared it on Facebook and then I was like, maybe this is a place where I can share my thoughts.

[Dead]

Yeah the best way to get to know people is through their writing because they don't have to hide their true selves...

[Blackheart]

Exactly. Through a person's writings, you can easily judge what his feelings are or what he is going through. It's like a transparent piece of glass reflecting everything about him.

[Dead]

Im sorry but you're awesome and sorry if I'm bothering you

[Blackheart]

Hahaha. Not at all bothered. And still, I have a long way to go. Just an average person pouring my thoughts. Nothing makes me more happier when people appreciate it. :P

[Dead]

Then you should be the happiest person in the world right now because I love your writing :) and I have to go so i'll ttyl asap

[Blackheart]

Did I say that you made my night? It's night here btw. Thanks for stopping by. See you soon. Keep writing. :)

[Dead]

Well I have to go home from school and I don't have internet at home so I'll talk to you when I get back to school tomorrow sweet dreams

[Blackheart]

Sure. Have a good day ahead. :)

[Mari K]

I like your style of writing, I just wish you had longer pieces. I feel like I just get into it and then it ends, leaving a feeling of a lack of depth. They are beautiful, don't get me wrong, I just want to see more.

[Dead]

I could try adding another poem to it but it might be a little off. What do you think?

[Mari K]

I don't know that adding a whole poem would be right. I would suggest maybe describing the darkness, comparing it to something. Maybe describe the coldness of the stone, the roughened texture beneath your skin, maybe the way the air feels around you when you're trapped in the darkness, the suffocation, the loss of freedom, of the deprivation of your joy.
Trapped in a room full of stone,
Lost in my mind, my unyielding home,
In this darkness that leaves me breathless and cold
Where no one can hear me shout,
No keys to my freedom, a forever dark cloud,
I'm lost in here, there's no way out.

Of course, as I stated, there's nothing wrong with the piece at all. I just want to get lost with you. Great job though. I do appreciate it fully.