If only...

I woke up at 3 am this morning anxiously, I lift my head up from the pillow, wishing it was a new day(everyday) and a fresh start, (but that only happens in fairy tales) until, an even bigger pile of utensils and a large bowl of water was dropped beside my defiled bed sheet... I didn’t make a sound or ask any questions, because I know what I must do, I’m used to it now and It’s a norm. honorably, I get up and start scrubbing, not the dishes just yet, but my hands. Well that’s the only way I can get around cleaning the, shredding of the dead and dry skins to be cleansed for the new day.

 Everything just pains, and my face is too numb as I haven’t spoken in days. who can I speak to? I’ve got no -one. Maybe the shop keepers are right when they start shouting at me saying “I’m a mistake” or “I’m unwanted” as I accidentally drop the heavy shopping I must carry for 30 miles with saw hands until I get ‘home’. They must be right because why would anyone be born to commit their life to … well that isn’t exactly easy to say either, but I hope you understand. I just can’t help but imagine what it would be like to come home from school with a group of your friends and home to find your family waiting at the table for you to join them for dinner, wait I almost forgot even imagining this is a sin.

Reviews

[¿]

Struggles are desperate to dream about freedom...how I wish each would come true!....You nailed it at making this touch the heart...The emotionalism you put here feels real and the conclusion gives a push to think over it!
You have a quality of pacifying the reader that whatever your saying is just the truth even if tis fictional....
This is a good read...thanks for sharing :)

[barleygirl]

This is a realistic story about how it might feel to be in a place that does not feel like the right place, always questioning, comparing one's life to others, etc. This reminds me of my older sisters in my childhood home -- they felt so poor & wretched, they dreamed about living fancier lives than what we lived. I never noticed this problem, tho. We lived on a farm & I didn't care about the fancy homes on the other side of the freeway, where my older sisters went to dream & hopefully meet "better" people. I just wanted to enjoy all my furry friends on our farm. In this way, it's more about our outlook than whatever circumstances we are living in. I believe your story shows how many people make themselves miserable by comparing what other people have, who are better off. And you last line really hits me becuz it isn't about sinning when we covet what others have. In a more realistic way, we are just making ourselves miserable, to my way of thinking. But your topic is well done & a good discussion with many points of view (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Fatima]

Thank you Margie for a great review and your understanding and experience of a similar situation. I'm not too sure how I would feel in this person's place but it seems like a rough thing to go through if you're new to it. Also as you reference to the last line, my intention was to show how encaged the person is in their life and how they wish they were free to do what they like instead of serving another person, but i respect your insight and thank you for commenting.

[Coyote Poetry]

This is powerful and wonderful work. I read three times. You made me want to read and know more. You create a life who is struggling and the story. Hard, direct and honest. I liked this tale. Thank you Fatima for sharing the outstanding work.
Coyote

[Fatima]

Thank you so much again, your reviews really help boost my confidence and do better. I really, really appreciate it :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are doing well This was a worthwhile tale. Would be a great introduction for a book. You are welcome Fatima.

[CLR9]

Block paragraph...begins with an adverb...annoyingly, I have to call this cancer.

[Fatima]

is it a bad thing ?

[CLR9]

Yes it is. It shows that you are very lazy.