Prefazione

Italy, 1348

            The fires burned with a relentless passion; a hunger that consumed the tiny hamlet with great licking flames. Smoke choked the night sky and blotted out the insignificant stars that, only days ago, had meant so much. I could hear the screams of the few living, awoken from dreams of agonizing death to find it upon them in another guise. The smell of death, pestilence, and burning flesh assaulted my nostrils as I inhaled. My lips curled up, slowly, in a smile that caught me by surprise. Their deaths, their screams, their pain filled the hole within my chest; its raw, burning edges placated by the atrocity I had committed.

            This is what I was.

            I let my eyes drift shut as I listened to the music of their suffering.

            Behind my lids I saw her sweet face, her smile, her loving eyes as she looked into mine in the dark. It was too much. The scream tore from my throat as an explosion rocked the little town and the fire grew in intensity, its long burning fingers reaching out towards the surrounding orchards. I called upon all of the strength within my ancient body, summoning the winds to aid me in my destruction. I would burn the entire continent, the world, if it would soothe the ache of her passing.

            I felt it now.

            I understood.

            This is what it meant to be forsaken.

Reviews

[Angry Greek Girl]

Wow. I just wanted to say that the atmosphere in this chapter is so wonderfully overwhelming. You can almost taste the heat and smoke in the air. I literally felt my chest hitch up, as if I couldn’t breathe. Also, your main character/narrator is intriguing to say the least. I found myself relating to how she feels and wanting to give in to the darkness of those emotions. Breathtaking piece.

[TL Boehm]

exquisitely penned. I'm hooked. Where is the rest?

[Larry Dyson]

wow very powerful and grabbing.hmm thought I left a message about the black death ..the plague here..oh well it started in italy in 1348...

[NightShade]

The vivid imagery of your descriptions is beyond reproach. The deliciously horrid emotion manifested in the narration is engaging and I gotta say, in the plainest terms. I'm hooked. Keep this one going. PLEASE!!!

[Gone]

I adored and loved the atmosphere. I felt as though I were there. I could smell and feel everything, the flames and hear the screams that made my spine go rigid cold. I hope you add more to this. I love it. I'm a fan

[Angel's Lady]

Forsaken...Beautifully written, Dawnie. I must hurry on to the next chapter....

(I do believe I have read this before....a long time ago.)

[Aven]

I wish I could write with such vivid emotion. Fantastic wordplay, fantastic flow, fantastic story!

[the in between]

I got really into it, the burning and screams were so vivid and also the emotion. Excellent work. gonna keep reading hahaha :) so much in just 2 paragraphs. i love the setting woot woot Italy.

I'm really into detail, and that's why the prologue was catchy to me.
the only thing I'd say as criticism is that you have several run-on sentences. Try shortening them up a bit, or splitting them into more than one sentence.

[Randomgurl6ify]

I so love this!!! I'm not just saying that!! I love plot from beginning, middle, to end. I read this twice just to get the feel of it. Please write more!!!!!