Half of my Heart

I can't stop loving you.

An apology could not fulfill my sincerity

My doubts seem to fade when you look at me

But half of my heart given isn't how it should be

Is it not supposed to be all or nothing?

If you think I'm acting too serious, I'm not being that way at all

God will always be the only One who catches my fall

Well congratulations; you broke down every one of my walls

That time once built up so high and strong

If only I could find a way for you to understand

God only knows how hard I tried to work a plan

They judged so quickly and gave you no chance

To explain yourself; they blocked you out like dam

I can't believe these words are slipping from my lips:

I'm so sorry, but I have to end it now-whatever this is

Please don't hate me. I never wanted to be the one to stop this

I just can't go on consistently asking myself: "What if?"

What if this is wrong, what if God wants otherwise?

And what if this was all a test to see if I'd say goodbye,

Even if I will never cease asking God, "Why?"

But what if that's not what I want; can't I make it right?

However, that's where I'm wrong - I can't go on that way

I must do what God wants no matter how I feel today

I may find out tomorrow, but for now I must trust my faith

I apologize I've come to this conclusion at a time so late

I just wish this would've worked out, not fell through

I don't believe someone could ever make me laugh more than you

Every word I've confessed, every word has been true

At this point praying is all I can do

No matter how badly I wish to change it, my heart can't fool my mind

Just because I want it, that doesn't make it right

You say you're nervous around me? Try looking inside my eyes

They'll reveal all secrets that no one else could find

How I long for your comprehension of how I wish not to choose

I tell myself to stop everything but yet forget when I look at you

Which is why I'm writing you this, there's nothing else I can do

Because if I'd explain in person, I would completely avoid the truth

I wouldn't be able to express what's really going on

I may believe things are going right when actually, they're wrong

I just want to be your friend; it's what I've wanted all along

You're not someone I could simply forget. I don't want you gone

Don't see me from a distance and act as if I'm not there

Cause I could spot you a mile away even without a care

Your sweet way with words make it unbearably unfair

To sit across the room from you knowing I can't do more than stare

So now you know every word I once hid in my heart

I thought God would let us continue after such a smooth start

Despite the issues amongst us, let's stay friends, not suddenly part

I might die to disprove this, but I believe you have left a mark

Author's Note

It's long, I know. But leaving someone you're falling for is extremely difficult. I'm thinking about giving this poem to him since it will be hard to tell him otherwise. What do you think?

Reviews

[Caitlynxoxo]

"No matter how badly I wish to change it, my heart can't fool my mind
Just because I want it, that doesn't make it right"

This was such a powerful statement! I loved the poem, because of the truth behind the words. Sometimes we don't look before we fall, and then when it's time to back it, it's just about the hardest thing you'll ever do :S I wish sometimes things could be easier!!! Thanks for sharing

xoxo Caitlyn xoxo

[YouoweYoupay]

This was a well-written poem with smooth rhymes and strong touching emotions. I liked the confusion of the heart in some lines, it's both sad and beautiful. Keep writing.