Hello, Goodbye

Condescending..

It's times like these when I miss the summer days,
When nothing seemed to fade;
Take a deep breath with the hot maze
Of fire and rain.

The memories remain.
They go on and on, like my mind hit replay
And they never go away.
I assume some things never change.

Letting go of the past is staring at a facade
From the outside looking in with pain,
And how he seemed to speak my name;
I am the one to blame.

I manage to bear it with sustain.
I lean against the window pane
And stare out the glass in a daze,
full of wonder, grief, and shame.

I glance at my past with disdain.
I can't stand the fact I pushed it and how I'd wait.
Nothing can open that closed gate,
It is shut forever and impossible to break.

Beginning the end, the start of a beginning.
Oh, how my mind is so complicating.
I can't comprehend the mess that's taking
Up my head and eyes - and what's with my shaking?

My hands are tied, my palms are sweaty.
He's trying so hard, I can't look for a state of petty.
He looks at me, oh, what is he thinking?
I believe I'll fall if he doesn't tell me.

I was told to put my guard up, don't allow the falling.
With every hello there's a goodbye, there may be faking.
I'm bad at handling
This love thing - my heart is easy at breaking.

Not anymore, no looking back, remember sweetie?
My eyes were blinded, I couldn't see a thing.
Open those spectacles, his smile is brightening.
To be, or not to be?

Life is too short for questioning
If it's something worth believing.
Just go with it, take is slow, take it easy.
Go fall into my arms, and you can stop my breathing.

Author's Note

This is a condescending poem.. I go back and forth in my thoughts all of the time. It may get quite confusing, but the beginning is just talking about the past and how I wish to go back, but there are some things I do not wish to relive, like heartbreak.
I made it rhyme all through the first half and then changed it in the second half, because I changed my life in a way. The second half is when someone new has come into my life and I'm trying to find a way to keep everything balanced and how I don't want to fall.