The Sea of False Hope

The emotion that is captivating my heart is unknown. 

I can’t tell if its a bittersweet acceptance, 

Or sadness, anger, joy, or maybe everything as a whole. 

Perhaps I might have held you on a higher level than 

You should’ve been on. Maybe that’s the cause of all this 

Disappointment, this anger, this feeling of loss. 

I just need a few days to clear my head:

Some fresh air, a nice day to myself, or a day with a friend. 

All I know is I can’t wait for all this to end. 

For me not to be angry when you’re in the room, 

For me to be completely content with just being friends. 

I’m not even sad that you left me. 

I’m disappointed in the never ending cycle of rejection

That always makes me open up, proves its okay, 

And in the end laughs and spits in my face. 

It’s as if God himself is playing with my mind. 

Love knows what it does to me. 

It knows that it opens my eyes, and then makes me blind. 

It knows I can’t freely fall into the depths of the unknown

Because every time I do I fall and smash into pieces. 

It would be foolish to keep thinking I’m not alone

And then jumping off the cliff that abandons all hope.

I’m not in despair because you left. I’m not crying because you gave up 

on me. 

My heart is drowning in a sea of false hope

That you once fooled me into thinking was trustworthy

And worth giving everything that I once claimed I would never lose. 

I’m sad because I look at the places that were our landmarks,

And knowing that they once made me glad, 

They now give me the opposing feeling of what I had. 

I’m sad because ill never get those feelings back, 

Along with my heart attached to our past.

Author's Note

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