Page 7

Elle raced around inside her temporary home. After she returned the home to a normal looking state, she went to a safe she kept in the basement. Inside was a stash of over twelve thousand dollars. She took half, and locked the other half up. She held it in her hands and walked up to the second floor of the house and grabbed her emergency duffle bag. She stuffed the cash inside, and zipped the bag, throwing it over her shoulder. She looked around the house, trying to think if there was anything else she needed. “Of course.” She said softly.

 

She went back upstairs and into her bedroom. In her bedside table, in a drawer, was a necklace. It was a gold cross, line with diamonds. Conley had given it to her when they had met. It symbolized what they did. Everyone who helped the lost magical souls to the other side owned one. And to be seen without one was dangerous. Though, Elle couldn’t wear it, as she hadn’t been to this magical village in years; at least ten. She sighed, pocketing the necklace, and leaving the house. She locked the door, and went around to check the back door, making sure it was locked. Then, she walked to the front of the house and stood in front of her care. It would be a long drive, especially at this time of day.

 

Between stops and a night over in the hotel, she made it Los Angeles in 48 hours. It took another five to get to the magical village. She pulled up to the gates of what looked like just a simple mansion. She pulled out her necklace, and offered it to the guard that stood outside the gates. “I’m here to see someone in the hospital.” She said simply. 

The man nodded, handing her back the necklace. “Go ahead.” He said, his voice gruff, as if he didn’t believe her. “Use gate seven.” She nodded, pocketing the necklace once more and driving through the gates.

 

Once inside the grounds, there were guards lined up and down the driveway, and they weren’t separated by more than three feet. Elle kept her eyes forward, making her way to gate seven. Once there, she showed her necklace again, explained her presence, and was granted access. She stepped out of her car and walked through the gate, a male guard escorting her. There was a slight time warp as they walked through the portal, leading to the magical being’s world.

 

The guard led her through the hallways of the hospital, bringing her directly to Conley’s room. The attending stood in the room, doing some blood work. “I-is he alright?” Elle asked. There was a long pause before the woman answered Elle. She turned to face her. 

“He is stable, but just barely above the margins. We’ve been keeping a close eye on him. He woke up, just out of the blue today. We aren’t sure why.” The woman said, looking back to Conley. He was asleep, and he looked awful. He was pale as ever, and what used to be his golden curly locks now looked like hay. It was an unsettling sight, and Elle’s heart ached. Her chest seemed to bar down on her, her airway closing shut. Tears welled up in her eyes, and the guard and attending left the room, closing the door to give them some privacy.

 

Reviews

[J. Ghalden]

Grammar-nazism, COMMENCE.
cross, line with diamonds. -- Lined
this magical village in years; at least ten. -- It'd be less confusing for reader if you just said "this magical village in at least ten years". Just a suggestion.
stood in front of her care. -- Methinks you meant car*
over in the hotel -- over in a* hotel
leading to the magical being’s world. -- Beings*
attending stood in the room, -- attendant*
Her chest seemed to bar -- bare* (Methinks you meant this)
guard and attending left -- Attendant*

Overall a good page. Though, to me, (and this is just speculation, and probably since I haven't continued in a while) that it went a bit fast. The plot just seemed to be advancing faster than I thought it would, and the overall feel of the story changed with this chapter too. Though, I'll revise this statement once I re-read the last pages, but that's what I get from reading it cleanly. Otherwise, well written like always. I'll continue reading. :3