A Language Barrier

That closed off feeling like you don't belong when you're in a group of foreign friends who all speak the same language and leave you out of the conversation.

There's something incredibly rude about discluding someone from a conversation. I have a lot of Asian friends at my college, and they're fun to be around, I always have a fun time around them separately. But once there is another Asian who's hanging out with us (usually Korean) I'm left out of the conversation completely. They start talking in their language and laughing at some jokes they throw around while I'm awkwardly staring at a random corner of the room, standing next to them awkwardly, waiting for them to finally say something in English. But they go on, and I'm baffled by how embarrassed I feel. I feel stares around me, probably wondering why was a girl like me standing next to them as if I knew what they were saying?

I felt out of place, the urge to run away was great, but I held my ground. I smiled, trying to join the conversation by making a random remark about the weather, anything to get them to talk to me again.

They snap their attention back to me, reply and I feel okay again, as they answer in English. I try to make a casual comment back, only for the other friend to interrupt by saying something in Korean, and they both laugh and continue to talk animately about something that I have no idea about. Just standing there and listening to complete gibberish in my ears made me feel foolish, but I held my patience.

I would wait, and wait, wondering if they'd ever even realize that I couldn't understand. Other times I'd feel angry, angry at myself for getting into this situation and angry at them for making me feel so foolish and excluded.

Now I'm sure they don't mean it personally, my friends prefer their first language because it's easier for them, but.. they speak English well, and they have no trouble speaking to me whenever we have a conversation. It's just that I wish there was a way for me to tell them exactly how I feel without being seen as sensitive. I have jokingly brought it up a couple times, but it seems that they do not get it.

This had been happening for years and I cannot believe I let it happen this much. It even got to a point where I asked a question about something, and they began explaining it in English in the beginning, only to halfway through change to Korean cause they paid more attention to the other Korean friend.

I don't mean to seem dramatic about this, but when I'm hanging out with friends, I would prefer to actually understand and join in on the conversations they are having.

Maybe one day I'll have the courage to finally explain that to them. But if not, then I guess I'll just stick to hanging out with people who actually want me to be included in future conversations.

© 2015 Intangible Mind

Author's Note

Sorry for the venting everyone! Had to write it out for me to feel better. And I'm not just trying to say a certain race is like this, it's just my personal experience with the big percentage of Koreans in my school. It's been happening way too much lately and I just needed to get it out of my system. Anyone else ever experience this or have the same feeling? Please comment below, I'd be happy to talk about it with you guys. (:

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Ahh, this is a situation I have been maybe guilty of, I guess living in another country, makes people do that. It is not out of meanness that we do it, but I completely understand your point.
A great vent and a good point. I would suggest you to keep expressing the frustration before it breaks your friendship. Good luck! :D