Win

I was listening to this song in one of the super bowl commercials and inspiration struck.

The way you feel when it's gone to hell.

Only thing left is an empty shell.

Missing all the life I will never show.

all for you but you can never know.

All the sins of the world

is the darkness I've unfurled

I know I lost my chance for the light

I'll hold darkness in with all my might.

It was a war I could never win.

stacked in cords of what has been.

I miss where the light used to show.

Where it disappeared I may never know.

I gave it up so you would be well.

you can never know how hard I fell.

I held this blackness away from you.

It's all I had; all I could do.

I'll smile inside at your precious light

I'll live with my friend, this awful night

I'll keep inside all that I've done.

For you are reminder that I have won.

Author's Note

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Mark it is indeed good to see work from your plume. This has a certain rhythm to it.
two posssible typos:
'I'll held this blackness away from you.' I held or I've held?
'For you are reminder that I have won.' For you are a reminder that I have won or For you are the reminder that I have won?

[Mark]

Thanks John, the first was a typo, the second was deliberate. :)

[s y e]

I am so proud of my boy, haha, Mumma's proud of you. This is so touching and exactly like what, Mockingbird says, shows despair and redemption.

The song is one of my favourites, I love it so much....

[Mark]

It's a great song. :) Was surprised first time I saw him sing it, I just didn't expect that voice to come out of that guy! XOXO thanks Sye.

[s y e]

I know, LOL, I sound like him.... kidding! xo, pleasure!

[Mark]

LOL That voice would fit you better than it does him I suspect.

[s y e]

HA! HA! OMG, that made me laugh so hard. Mumma is proud. ;-P

[Mark]

heehee Give yourself a hug from me :P

[s y e]

Ahaha, done. Same to you too dude! ;-PP

[Mockingbird]

conveys both despair and redemption.

[prachi prangya agasti]

touching and thoughtful... wonderfully written...

[Leslie Philibert]

Like the poem; and it brings me to the thought ; if you have a winner, you need a loser too. I`m on the side of the losers...another fine write.

[Mark]

I think sometimes winning is just finishing a good journey. No one has to lose. :)

[Blue Ivory]

I love this song! Really compliments your poem. Although your poem kinda reminds me of the Great Gatsby.

[Mark]

The Great Gatsby? Why?

[Blue Ivory]

The three lines before the last line. The reference to light, green light. And how the main character turns out to be Gatsby's only true friend "I'll live with my friend, this awful night."

[Mark]

ahh. I need to read that again I think. Thanks !

[Baby Ricochet]

Very touching poem with some good rhymes. The WC doesn't get any better

[Jack...]

So what is that old saying, it is better to have loved and lost.... Nice one Mark.

[Mark]

Thanks a lot Jack.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Touching, coiled with anger and release and tells of a bond that most never get, well done, good read.

[Mark]

Thanks much Thomas.