Halved

just another break up poem...

I can't say when the clouds came down

I only remember their sting;

wet and clinging.

I only know when you left me wanting

the feeling was alone in it's pure

monotone of ache.

I don't remember the rushed stars

winking from above,

pushing clouds at me.

I remember the longing

bones hurt and splintered

memories made dusty song.

I remember the flying,

where you and I

merged into end and beginning.

To slice apart what was

so long fused;

blood wasn't enough,

Death wasn't the worst,

Life wasn't the cost,

My soul, torn, puddled at your feet.

Reviews

[Renée]

Mark,
This just tears at this readers heart. Not just another break up poem, a hearts cry of pain, written beautifully.

[Mark]

Thank you for reading. I'm glad it touched you. :)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Fervently paced and rich with descriptions, just amazing, I was completely enthralled, Mark.

[Infinite hexes]

This poem paints a picture of sadness and hurt, a lot of it. It feels a bit emo, with the rain stinging and remembering the past and what isn't anymore. And by emo, I do mean in a good way. I really liked it.

[Mark]

Thanks, I've always thought I was emo before that 'type' was even invented LOL :)

[Kristin Lee]

Break ups are the worst. This poem reflects that agony quite well. The last stanza say's it all.

[Mark]

Thank you Kristin :)

[emmajoy]

There's such a real sadness in this, it's like a heart-pocket being turned inside out and bloody tears letting loose. Men hurt, it's allowed, even though they so often hide in shadows. ' I remember the longing ~ bones hurt and splintered ~ memories made dusty song.'

[Mark]

I don't mean to sound contrary, but men are told it's okay, then when we express it we're told to 'man up' to stop whining... Hard to decide really what to do, so I think most of us just hide it and deal from the inside.

Thanks so much for reading and for your comments. I really appreciate it.

[emmajoy]

Never mind what others think, especially other men. It's only when it happens to them they realise what pain means. This 'dont cry, little boy' is cruel and 'ends up with having a load of morons walking about without a single sensitive nerve in the body because hurt's burned it out. Bout time we realised that women have brains and men have feelings. And why? Because each and every one is a human being.

[Mark]

well, I certainly don't care. That comes with age. And it's not always other men who say these things. It's women because we guys tend to open up to women if we open up at all. Some day maybe the human race won't be so fucked up, but I don't think it's going to be anytime soon. LOL all we can do is live our lives as best we can I think. Love to see such passion in people, thanks for your thoughts.

[emmajoy]

Methinks you know the wrong women! :) There's only one way to live and that's with absolute energy, some would call it passion guess it just means seeing and feeling it all with the frequent 'I'm doing it, I'm doing it' postscript!

[Jack...]

I'm not too shy, this was great Mark. The pain is evident and the loss just hits hard. I know this feeling,

[Mark]

Thanks Jack.

[lee von cleef]

Spot on , the girls love it , and the men are too shy to admit it.

[Mark]

Thank you lee.

[s y e]

Awwww, who broke my boys heart? Mummy will come kick their butt!

This is such a heart breaking write, Mark. The love that has been lost and the way you portray it. The pain and longing in this write is so powerful. A relatable write to a lot of people.

~ Noodle.

[Mark]

Thanks Mum, girls be warned! I"m glad you liked it. :)

[s y e]

Ha, I've got me shot gun xD

[Mark]

haha I had a shotgun when I was young. My Dad loved to hunt rabbits.

[s y e]

O.O I didn't know my husband had a shotgun! LOL.

[Mark]

:P have you ever shot a shotgun?

[s y e]

NO WAY JOSE!

[Mark]

It's a thrilling experience. You should try it. Wear ear protectors though, they are very loud.

[s y e]

NO WAY! I might kill myself! Ha.

[Mark]

haha, if I get back to the U.K. I'll show you how.

[s y e]

Haha, I fly all over the world, I have wings!

[Mark]

Okay,, but you'll have to track me down and catch me !

[s y e]

I have a tracker on ya'll! And plus, you're my son remember! xD

[Mark]

haha.. ooo... now I'm going to be looking over my shoulder for wings!

[s y e]

Bahahahaha xD You should.