We Go

It all starts in our heads.

On this carousel

wind at my back, 

then in my face.

Blurred visions red then black, white, and gold.

Spin off drops

create a lake to live in.

Forged shapes cool, creating steam,

from dreams to the real, then

becoming what I show you.

Dropping, lost thoughts

fertilize so new ones grow.

Will they point the way we go?

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we wonder if they will find their way to the paper...those thoughts that go around in our heads like a carousel...

the shapes are forged there, but can we forge them into poems that exist in the concrete world...

once when i was young i got kicked by a carousel horse...it was so weird...i was at a carnival being set up across the street from where i lived...there was a big canvass over it...i lifted it up at one point to look in..raise my head and it hit the steel thing we put our feet on while riding...ended up with a split head, bled buckets...i fell back on the ground laughing until i saw all the blood, then i thought uhoh..

my friends brought me home, my mom wouldn't let me in the house, she hosed me off...it was kind of funny..

sometimes when i have thoughts in my head going around in circles, i wonder if i hit my head on them..would i bleed words?

i love this poem, Mark...

delightful metaphor here.

[Mark]

LOL great story! The man kicked by a merry-go-round horse! Thank you for your thoughts Jacob.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

The concept here is well wrought...a metaphorical dive into the pool of internal musings. The image of the carousel was well established. I really like the last lines, they tie the piece up nicely.

[Mark]

Thanks for stopping by Sarah, appreciate your thoughts :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Quite a simple approach for a targeted piece, well done, good read.

[Mark]

I like keeping things simple. Thanks for reading Thomas :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Your welcome my love.

[Rita L. Sev]

The direction we are going alters the way we perceive our lives. "Becoming what I show you..." - another smoke and mirror trick, altering someone else's perception... intriguing write!

[Mark]

thanks for reading Rita. :)

[Stella Armour]

never ending circles ○○○they get bigger and bigger sometimes

[Mark]

The doors of perception! :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Mark, This feels like someone unable to trust their own thinking. Nice write.

[Mark]

thanks for reading John. :)

[Archangel Gabriel]

This Mark sounds like the subject is confused and seeking direction. It leaves a sense of a question to be pursued but perhaps unanswered. Nice piece.

[Mark]

Thank you Gabe, it wasn't so much about direction, for me anyway, as it was about the confusion of perception and how they shape reality.

[Archangel Gabriel]

True Mark, very true.

[Jack...]

Merry-go-round we go, where we stop...Within every idea or thought waits a new one for its time to live. Very cool Mark.

[Mark]

thank you Jack. "thoughts become things, choose good ones!"

[eglantine]

Great description of the thinking/idea process. I like the use of color. Nice kind of alice in wonderland/dr. Seuss ending.

[Mark]

Very cool, I was going for Alice but I love Geisel too!! Thanks e :)

[quinfinn]

in the circle of life we meet whats coming and then find it at our backs....and it continues, sometimes based or propelled on a very thought. this is awesome, Mark, well done!

[Mark]

Thank you sir, glad to see it spoke to you. :)