Going Back

a dream

I would wind through the forests knowing you 

were at the end of my foraging.

We would hold hands and laugh at the sky..

trying to scare? no, trying to whelp us

with dark gray and torrential waters

Far from the dryness of concrete and oil stained

human walks, we could eat, and sleep, and tell 

each other things we've never heard anyone say before.

In Winter you would wear fur and I would build snow castles.

The air would be our friend, howling or still.

We'd discuss going back, and reluctantly 

trek to the glass square, straight line world

where no one knows how to talk to 

the rain,

or mold the snow.

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A lovely classic love feeling to this dream. It flows well and has great use of metaphors. I love the final stanza it just leaves me cold. Think I need the sun now!

[Mark]

Thanks John.

[quinfinn]

this is exquisite, imagery and well founded words combine to remember a vivid and awesome dream.

[Mark]

Thanks q, glad you liked it :)

[quinfinn]

indeed! you're welcome

[Mockingbird]

this is one dream i would try my best to hold on to and remember every detail and emotion. excellent poem.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A truly classic piece that negates the reason for reading, well done.

[Magdelena]

Mark just when I thought your writing couldn't amaze me further, you bring forth this!!! I always said you had talent so pure that it brings tears to ones eyes, well this was the one for me! Oh how beautiful the imagery was in each line. I keep going back to read, trying to see which verse I liked best. I can't. For each one brings forth another feeling and to me all are magnificent..

Another winner my friend.. Keep on writing Mark. Never loose your sense of wonder..

Mags xo

[Mark]

Thank you, glad you like it. you sort of inspired it.

[eglantine]

Let's just all take a moment to appreciate this poem, because it is superb--especially with "Yellow light" by Of Monsters and Men playing in the background as I read it. I was wary of the multiple "would"s but it works, it eases into the weather and images. I'd bump "the rain" up to the line above it though, it looks odd being so short and since the last line is short already... Thanks for sharing

[Mark]

Thanks e... I much appreciate your thoughts! I'm not taking your advice this time however. I think rain is exactly where it should be. :)

[Kashif Waqas Ramay]

Far from the dryness of concrete and oil stained
human walks, we could eat, and sleep, and tell ....
i loved these lines

[KAOlmsted]

Idyllic...sounds perfect...except the snow ;-) Beautifully written, Mark. Thanks so much for sharing this lovely dream with us.

[Mark]

awww, nothing wrong with snow :)

[KAOlmsted]

That's the residual Alaska boy talking ;-) As for this former Alaska gal? I've had enough.

[Mark]

LOL it's been long enough for me that it is fun to visit.

[KAOlmsted]

I won't live long enough for it to be long enough for me *laugh* Anyway, really enjoyed your piece, Mark.

[Mark]

thanks and ya, bet you'll never get tired of palm trees and beaches!
I miss Florida, I always have felt at home there for some reason.

[KAOlmsted]

My pleasure...I don't plan on ever leaving Pensacola. I love it here.

[Coyote Poetry]

"We'd discuss going back, and reluctantly
trek to the glass square, straight line world
where no one knows how to talk to
the rain,
or make it snow."
I agree with the above lines. I have few good conversations with friends or family. Seem like long walks and long talks are things of the past. I like the thoughts and the memories in the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Mark]

and thank you my friend. I'm glad you liked that stanza... your poetry sort of inspired it. :)

[Leslie Philibert]

What I like here is the visuality; almost cimematic, so a fine image producing poem that works 100 per cent.

[Mark]

Thank you Leslie