A new life

Realize before its too late

I observed him carefully as he walked towards the door..i knew that the time was running out but suppressed the urge to look at my watch..i took a deep breath and started counting reverse under my breath..'ten,nine,eight...i counted..In front of me was a man..a really huge man..in white robes.white as snow..He was walking towards my future..future of my new life...A LIFE AFTER DEATH...He was a death angel..We both were in a huge dimly lit room.
I remembered he told me that your deeds are bieng counted..All that you did in your entire life....exactly at 10.00 he had said..the future will be decided..This door will open..and it will show the way to your new dwelling...Heaven or Hell...No one knows..Only God does..
He was continously walking towards the door.It was a magnificent door of silver with golden handle.
I counted "Eight" and a flashback i saw.There were scriptures of all holy books in front of my eyes-about Heaven and Hell..About good and bad deeds..I could see that scary picture of Hell!! The lake of Fire..The boiling oil..The devils laughing at me,tormenting the damned.My heart was pounding like it will come out of my chest.I could hear it beating at its highest speed.It was due to fear.Fear of Hell!!
The sound of Death angel's footsteps bought me back to the situation."Seven" i counted.Again a flashback i saw.It was a man in his forties but poverty made him look older then his age.All his hair turned gray,his cloths all torn and very dirty.Expression of deep grief on his face with his eyes sunken for not getting to eat properly since ages.Oh i know this man! I thought.Stressed my mind hard to recall but i couldn't.Then i saw myself arriving,stepping down from my lavish car.I was eating a burger,walking towards my office,too busy to look around at him.And even if i saw him,too arrogant to bother.He pleaded for help but i ignored.My hunger was satisfied so i threw that half ate burger into the dustbin besides him and rushed into my office.That beggar,who used to sit near my office everyday,whom i always ignored,got up.He was walking towards the dustbin.To my surprise he took out that half ate burger from that rubbish filled,badly stinking dustbin,looked at it for a minute,tears flowing from his eyes and he was about to eat it.
"NOOOOOOO!!" i shouted.."No dont eat that.no please.I will help you.I will give you food and clothing.No no please dont.its not worth eating."But he was not listening..The scene blurred then..I was back to that room..Filled with guilt...
I counted "Six"..The flashback showed my friends..My whole school group.They were sitting on a beach,watching sunset,talking,laughing,relaxing...enjoying!!! I remembered them calling me every weekend to join them. But i was too busy. Earning money!! Expanding my business!!
But at this moment i was dying to go to them,sit and laugh on silly jokes.I ran towards them. As fast as i could. Called out there names " Mary, James , John. " But i couldnt reach them..just couldnt..They were not listening..I was too late..
Back to that room, i was burning inside, trembling from head to toe. "Five."
I saw my phone ringing.It was Selena calling.She was my best friend. I saw myself sleeping. I had been working for the whole night to complete my presentations,too tired to have a conversation with anyone...even if it was my best friend.I saw myself getting up,cursing her for disturbing my sleep and switching off my phone to silent mode.
"OH JUST PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE" I shouted."she helped you in every situation.She fought with the entire world for you. She gifted you your favourite books from her pocket money,cutting down her expenses just because you could not afford then.Ohhhhhhhh!! you cant sleep.She might be in some problem. " I was crying helplessly. I ran towards the phone,trying to hold it,to pick up the phone,to talk. All in vain.
I did not want to see more.Did not want to count four, but i deed.Taking a deep breath.."Four".
It was my granny. She was weaving a sweater for me. Her hands were trembling due to age. Her eye sight was weak,tears running down her eyes as she tried to concentrate more on the sweater. She was having back ache because of sitting on that chair for long. But she did not get up. She wanted to complete it anyhow. Because it was my birthday. She wanted to gift it to me. I saw myself entering,returning from office.
" HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR " she said. " You left early so could not wish you in the morning."
" Its ok granny.Thanks." i smiled and started walking towards my room.
" Ummm i have got something for you..Here..Made it myself". She said proudly and landed the sweater to me.
" Oh thanks granny". I took it and started walking towards my room again without a tinge of gratefulness.
" Listen." she said.
" Oh what is it now granny??". I saw myself getting angry at her.
Taken aback she said in a hesitating voice " I was wondering if you could try it once for me. Just wanted to check if its proper in fit."
" Oh Good Lord!!why dont you people understand??" i shouted. " I am working for the whole day out there.Just for you people.I am not free like you to try your silly sweater and pose around." i left for my room and banged the door.
Granny was still standing there.silent like a statue. Tears flowing down from her eyes.But her silence spoke something. "It is not the money that we want dear.Its just you."
I was starting to hate myself by now." I am so sorry granny". I started crying like a child. " i am just so sorry. I love you so much. Please forgive me. Please just look here. Just listen to me once. Just once. Please......."
I simply had no strenght to see anything worse then this. I could not be more selfish,more arrogant,more ignorant.
"Three".. The lady i saw this time was the one who kept me in her womb for nine months. I saw her forgetting that excruciating labor pain,the moment she saw my face. I saw her bieng awake for nights so that i could rest at peace. Not eating or drinking anything till i was back from exams. Praying day and night for my good results. Selling her favourite piece of jewellary for sending me to the best college. Rushing with me to the hospital with one cough or sneeze of mine.Listening to my endless talks even after the most tiring day of hers. But it was she who was ill today. She wanted to talk to me, to share here loneliness...
" Hey dear!! What are you doing?? Its sunday today. Give yourself a break. I have got coffee for you." her voice was full of compassion,of love , of care.
" Writing a plot for my book mum. Dont get time for this in weekdays." i said without even looking up at her.
" Umm you remember aunt Melica? My childhood friend?" she asked me trying to start a conversation.
" No." i said bluntly in a ' stop disturbing me' tone.
" What are you writing about? " she asked
" Oh for God sake mom" i shouted. " cant you people just leave me alone for sometime?? Is it necesary to interfere in every single matter of mine? Oh comeon mom i am grown up now."
" I was just..." tears filled in her eyes.
" Oh dont start that emotional blackmail now. I am already having a headache." i said.
" what?? You are having a headache??" Her tears dried at once at this. " why didnt you tell me first? I will get u medicines" she said.
She kept the medicines with a glass of water on my table.
"good night dear. Dont overstress" she said and left for her room.
My eyes were still on laptop screen. "good night." i said.
Mum went to her bed,closed her eyes and prayed to God " Oh God!! Please give all my happiness to my child and all her sorrows to me."
I was broken into pieces. I was feeling a lump in my throat. I wanted to wake her up, apologize, talk to her, hug her. But i did not do anything. I was just standing still. I had realized uptil now that it was useless. No one could hear me.
I ran towards the Death angel. I fell on his feet. I pleaded to him, begged him " please give me just one chance. . I want to help that begger, talk to my friends, help Selena, apologize to granny, talk to mum. Just once. Give me just one chance. Just one damn chance please. I beg of u. I dont care if i go to Hell after that."
" No one here gets a second chance." He laughed at me..
" Two" My fear of Hell was now replaced by my sense of loss!! My heart was heavy with regret.
" One " He opened the door. The dimly let room soon filled with stripes of dazzling light.
I saw a silhoutte of a persom standing at the door.It was calling my name." Lucy!!"
The voice was becoming clear and the image of that person too "Lucy!" it called again " comeon now wake up or you will be late "
She was my mom. It was all a dream. I just could not believe it. I ran to her,hugged her tightly like a lost child who just suddenly met her mother after a long time.I took a leave from office that day. I cooked with mum,wore granny's sweater, posed around like a model and clicked pictures with granny. I went to meet Selena then and we talked for hours discussing everything from my new hairstyle to the colour of her nailpolish. We called all our old friends and went to the beach.
Next day when i talked to that beggar and offered him food, his smile gave me answer to that question..What was there behind that door?? It was Heaven..God akready chose for me but it was me who could not realize it till that night.
Yes it was a door to my future..It changed my life..I was reborn.

NAME: DR.ZAINAB.H.KASIDWALA.