Innocent Minds

“The Seven Virtues: Charity, Chastity, Diligence, Humility, Kindness, Patience, and Temperance”

Oh, woe is that man that sits in a cell penning his blasphemous deeds, when he insists that his demise was due to his upbringing and completely profound stupidity. Oh, woe is the man that does not cry as a result to his guilt and horrid crimes, and woe is a man that is condemned to the flames of hell for his ignorance. Many may say that I have blasphemous nature, but it has not always been this way. Although, I warn you that it may not seem too clear for someone such as I, who has a rather acceptable background. I was raised by a priest in the Dominican's School for Orphan Boys since my tiny baby body was found on the banks of the Thames. My upbringing was almost never tedious, as the priests always told me, I never cried as a baby and I have never misbehaved. Quiet and well composed, is what my teacher often described me. My morals were sound and my disposition quaint during these stages of my life. However, all that changed upon my abrupt entry into manhood.

 

At eighteen, I was released into the big open world, without much care for what may have become to my school-boy-like spirit. I left the school with nothing more than the clothing I wore on my back, (composed of long-sleeves and a high-closed-collar) extremely conservative. I walked the streets of London without fear of the world, naive and unwary of demon-possessed streets and "similar behaviours". I walked those alleyways until I came to a small inn. I stepped inside unaware of the putrid stench of alcohol, and the immorality of naked moans and grunts. I sat down at one of the wooden tables next to the open window. The wood was rough and obviously unpolished, but instead coated by the sins and activities conducted inside the inn during the past nights. A woman then came over and sprawled her body across the table. I sat there frozen with amazement, but mostly from bitter curiosity. She stared at me with brilliant blue sapphires, but despite their beauty and the ravishing colour they possessed; I knew her eyes were empty -- as empty as the bottle that I held in my hand. Her voice was guttural, and her body smelled of sweat and incense. She took my hand. "Come," she whispered into my ear as her eyes changed to a deep bloody red and her long black nails dug into my back. What happened next became the object of my demise, foolish it was of me to accept such an invitation. Although in all my years of schooling, the principles of lust or the biology of physical attraction was never explained; so how was I even to know? Figures and colours swayed and swooned before my eyes that night, and when morning came, I left the inn without much care or conscience to where I have misplaced my garments.

 

Out on the street there was an early morning mist. It splayed itself over the paved streets like an eerie ghost lost between the streets of good and evil, unable to decide firmly where to go. My feet made an unpleasant sloshing sound as I walked towards the butcher shop, and stared through the glass window. There hanging by the neck was the heavily disfigured body of a pig, utterly and brutally deprived of its will to live. I reached for the pig with the flesh of my right palm and left my mark of empathy on the shiny glass. As I gazed at the print, I saw the reflection of the cathedral behind me. An epiphany shot through my brain; I have always wanted to enter the priesthood. I turned around to face the towering structure, and the seven caryatids that supported the balcony above all seemed to glare at me with their stone eyes. A snake slithered around the foot of one of the caryatids. I thought myself as demented when I heard it speak. "What blasphemous creature was this?" I thought to myself with complete disgust. The words that came out of its mouth were undecipherable at first and it only became understandable once I shut off my hearing from the world around me. I could have sworn it was the devil himself speaking in my head, whispering promises beyond my wildest imagination, slowly burning my innocent soul. In the days before that sinful invasion, my mind could not comprehend the deeds I am now condemned for. If an analogy were made, even a blind man would see that young boy's mind was unsurprisingly unlike the mind that is currently rotting here in this damp cell, festering with self-torment as I pen my unfortunate memoirs.

 

The snake slithered towards me, its eyes red as if filled with drops of fresh human blood. I closed my eyes to deprive my sight of that hideous creature. I opened my eyes once again and the creature was gone. The mist had spread itself around my feet as I walked towards the cathedral steps. I stopped in my tracks halfway towards the grand wooden doors, as if some unforeseeable force kept my feet rooted in their awkward position. My heart felt heavy and cold, like an anchor in icy seas. I surrendered to its grasp on me and I walked away from the church and towards an empty alleyway beside the butcher shop. The wind howled a throaty moan, the street was dark, damp, and completely desolate, but I paced down the alley without much consideration. I found a dirty corner surrounded by carcasses of rotting meat, and stationed myself there unconcerned by the ghastly smell. I leaned my bare and naked back against the rough stone wall, took a deep, dead breath, slumped towards the floor, and closed my eyes without complaint.

 

My thoughts lingered with the fog for some indefinite span of time until I heard a blood-curdling scream. It rang through the streets in the middle of the dreary, foggy, and sunless day. Then there was even a longer scream followed by a succession of high-pitched grunts and shrieks. My eyes were still tightly shut, for I did not want to bear witness the murder of some not-so-irreproachable wench, somewhere along those forsaken and forgotten streets; only a few seconds passed by when I heard another devilish resonance in the air. I opened my eyes to their absolute limits the moment I heard a low nasal moan. There standing in front of me was a man hooded and cloaked in midnight blue, his face hidden under the shadows and his feet floating roughly two and a half inches from the dirty ground. He showed no skin, only a pair of yellow eyes was all I could see, and his breath filled my nostrils with the horrendous stink of burning flesh. There was the sound of drums in the distance, or probably the banging of my indiscreet heartbeat. A hissing sound came from where I could assume his mouth was, and he became to speak to me with a voice that seemed unsurprisingly hollow, bitter, and cold. He held out a rock the size of my hand, with the frail and tarnished length of his grey fingers, "Eat." he commanded. Given my un-cheerful deposition and the aching and painstaking movement of my bowels, I took the rock from his hand, and bit down on the rock. To my surprise, my teeth made their way through the rock without any strain or additional effort. The rock dissolved itself in my mouth and overflowed my senses with divine sweetness and my hunger was instantly satisfied.

 

I woke up in the same alley with an atrociously large belly, and the stranger gone from my sights. The sun had finally broken through the clouds and the fog had dispersed. I looked around the alley to realize that there was a body of a woman slumped right next to me. Her hair was long, black and curly, and her face drained of all colour. Her lips were pale, her eyes completely white, her pupils and irises absent from their supposed location. Around her neck was a snake, its scales bright blue and its eyes fiery yellow. It snapped at me, so I jerked away from the dead body, and crawled on all fours behind the nearest crate, a safe distance from the snake's lengthy reach. Behind me arrived the sounds of men approaching. I stood and turned around and trembled in fear, my knees shook causing my ignorant mind to believe that the earth was shaking.

 

There were seven figures walking towards me. The first was a woman that had long black hair that swept the street as she slowly paced towards me; her face was as clear as porcelain and as white as cotton. She wore a black translucent chemise that did little to hide her voluptuous figure, her lips were stained black, and her irises were bloody red. The second woman wore an exquisite gown with flowers and pearls in her hair. She was adorned with diamonds, emeralds, topazes, sapphires, rubies, gold, and silver bracelets. Her face was thickly covered with white powder and her lips and eyes were a deep royal indigo. A man accompanied the second woman, and he was dressed in fine eveningwear. He wore medals and patches on his chest and carried a long sword. He held his chin up high in such an utmost fashion that it made him look; perhaps, overly notable with the medallions he wore. Despite his, most royal and proud appearance, his eyes were black and empty; there were no white in his eyes, just a pure endless hole of shadowy and cursed black. The second man stood beside the first woman, holding her most possessively. His arms clung to her in a most disturbing way, as if afraid and jealous that someone might pull her away from his bitter grasp. His majestic green eyes were serious, and weary of the world around him, eyeing his companions with a longing face. The third man walked with clumsy feet as he walked down the alley. He had a huge belly and was dressed in nothing but a bloodstained apron. He held a knife in his right hand, and a fork in his left; his face and neck was swollen a bloated and possessed huge round eyes with irises of bright yellow. The fourth man had a long beard that reached his knees and walked with very heavy steps. These steps shook and crushed the stone underneath it as he waved a cutlass in the air. His features were horrendously disfigured by the way he scrunched up his face angrily; his eyes glowed like fire even in the light as he pushed along the fifth man lazily sitting in a wheelbarrow. The man in the wheelbarrow was thin, and pale as if dangerously ill. His glowing ocean blue eyes were sleepily weighed down by heavy lids, and his hair incredibly unruly and unkempt.

 

The unusual bunch walked towards me at a traumatically snail-like pace, I wanted to run away, but once again, my feet were rooted to the ground like a tree. As they drew nearer, my knees gave way; reduced to a fragile heap I collapsed to the ground. They surrounded and circled around me like a treacherous merry-go-round, touching my face with their cold and dead fingertips. The two women then knelt in front of me and started moving their arms around in the air in a ritualistic manner, the five men then held hands to form a pentagon, and the ground beneath their feet started to glow. I watched as the demonic flames of hell engulfed the odd seven and turned them into ash. In an effort to clear my mind, I inhaled the putrid air along with the ash and an uncanny feeling overwhelmed my senses. With a flash of lightning and a roar of thunder, the sky turned instantly black and angels seated on the clouds above me wept for my forsaken soul.

 

I began wailing around in the rain like a madman unable to control the burning feeling I felt in my chest; my eyes stung as I stumbled and fell along the streets. In distress I tried to run towards the cathedral but my feet led me instead slowly back to the inn. I stumbled at the foot of the stairs as I gazed up at the open doorway. I stood up holding my swollen belly as I made my way behind the counter of the bar. I then in a fit of demonic madness I ran like a dog towards the bartender and grabbed the food from her tray. I knocked her over and greedily devoured the food in my hands. It was a meal worth enough to feed a thousand people, but yet -- it was not enough. The more I ate, the thinner I seemed to become and the hungrier I became. I begged for food like a dog, and if they refused to give me a bite, I lunged at them to take a taste. Then in all my madness, there was the voice, and I instantly returned to my senses. I looked around to see a hundred eyes all glowing yellow. In shame, not fright, I turned away and walked out the door. The moment I walked out the door I found myself back inside the inn. I turned away once more and stepped out the door. Once again, I was trapped in that cursed place. Despite my obnoxious state, I could tell that the room had changed although it was until the same. Instead of tables of wood that filled the inn, the tables were now made of pure gold, and instead of the people drinking water, wine and rum, they drank diamonds, rubies and topazes. I stared at the floor unsure of what was becoming of me, and saw the floor to be tiled with mother of pearl, dotted with sapphires and emeralds in an intricate pattern of lilies, roses and other flowers. The indigo eyes of the innkeeper glared at me as I took a knife from the table, and for reasons I cannot comprehend, I bent down to the floor to scrape out the precious gems. I kissed and rubbed my face against the ultimate fortune I held in my hands, I started to laugh like a maniac as I stuffed everything I could in my pants pockets and ran out the door.

 

I then emerged into a different yet similar room. The room was a deep velvet red, the floor beneath my feet was covered by luxurious Turkish rugs and was filled with women, more women than any one man could have. I propped myself on the soft couch next to the window and watched as the beautiful creatures paraded around me. There was no need for effort, no need even to try to do anything for myself; all the women did it for me. I just let myself waste away. I felt like a king, they did anything I commanded them to do, anything at all. Time did not seem to pass when I was in that room, I took my time with each one of them, unconcerned of any of the consequences. A woman then appeared in the centre of the room. She wore a Greek tunic and wore her long black hair in a braid. Her lips were red and full, her eyes seductive and filled with temptation. She walked towards me with a charming strut as she slowly undid the braid in her hair, revealing long straight locks. She knelt in front of me and smiled, she then turned her head to call the others towards her. When she looked back at me her eyes turned scarlet red, and so did every other woman's eyes in that room; then there was a man's laugh. Startled, I looked beside me to see a naked man with unruly hair and glowing oceanic-blue eyes. I jumped up in fear and slowly paced away from them; I then gathered my courage (and whatever was still left of me), and dashed towards the door at lightning speed.

 

I stumbled into a red carpet littered with white rose petals. Two men from behind then took me by the arms and helped me on my feet. A royal ensemble then started playing; I looked around the room that had become a grand palace as quick as an eye could blink. I walked down the red carpet and I soon realized the crowd was clapping. I could not resist the urge, so I walked the carpet tall and proud as if I was about to be knighted by the queen of England. Fool. My pride was bigger than the recognition I actually deserved, but I had nothing about as much as a clue, not a clue at all. (My own ignorance astounds me.) The music suddenly came to a halt and I saw the man that had stolen my spotlight, my divine moment of respect. He sat on the thrown as people cheered. I coveted his crown, his respect, his gold, his jewels, even his looks. In anger, I turned around and stormed towards the door, but the two men, who had earlier helped me up, knocked my fragile body to the ground with one solid shove. I looked up at them and saw their eyes gleaming at me. The first his eyes were as black, as pure as shadow, the second his irises were gleaming green. I crawled backwards away from them as I struggled to get back on my feet. The cathedral bells began to peal and there was a sharp sting in my chest. My heart raced and throbbed excruciatingly as i ran out the door and back into the street with a fire in my eyes and a trembling in my soul. The bells continued to ring as i raved madly in the middle of the street in the bright light of day. The sun stung my skin and my eyes as i yelled and growled at anyone on the cobblestone street.

 

My head began to reel as my soul fought the demons that had taken up shelter in the hole in my heart. I yelled out in pain as my vision slowly became black and white. I forced myself to walk towards the cathedral, moaning with a low growl in my throat. People walked passed me and to my astonishment, each person glowed with a hint of colour. There was a woman who passed by me who's face glowed green, another who glowed blue, a man who glowed with a tint of indigo, a couple of other individuals marked blood-red and fire-red, and one or two glowing with yellow, and some others marked black. There was not a single person that i could see that was not marked by these colours. In terror, i ran as fast as i could towards the cathedral, the seven caryatids glared at me with their glowing eyes. I dashed past the tall wooden doors and ran down the aisle towards the priest praying at the altar. I begged him to help me; he closed his eyes and raised his hand to touch my forehead. He then opened his eyes wide and looked at me with eyes of complete utter fear that seemed to have turned his skin pale and shrivelled up his facial expression. He backed away from me whimpering, as if he had seen a ghost in my eyes; but i now know clearly, what he had seen. I darted towards him and begged him to heal me, tugging and pulling on his robe, shaking and gripping his limbs. He yelled out and ran away from me, and like a devilish animal, i lunged and attacked the poor man.

 

I grabbed him by his chubby neck and started banging his head on the stone steps as my eyes filled with fires. Everything seemed to be burning like a pit in hell as i let the priest's blood splatter and spurt out in all directions. I continued my most wrathful endeavour even after the body had ceased to possess any life at all. Satisfied with the amount of blood that had spilled on the stone floor i stood up to admire my handiwork. In the pool of blood, i saw my hideous reflection. My beard had grown long, my hair unruly, my nails black, lips blood-red, teeth yellow, abdomen swollen; but the feature that struck me the most was the fiery-red in my eyes. The fires flickered as if it could consume the entire cathedral. I looked into my own eyes and i saw wrath. I saw how my body and how it carried itself, i saw pride. I looked at my hair and i saw hebetude, at my hands, i saw envy. I looked at my swollen belly: voracity, at my blood-red lips: lechery, and at my bulging pockets: avarice. Only at that moment, peering into a pool of scarlet did i realize i had lost my own innocence. I looked up, at the altar and The Holy Cross, then back down at my pitiful shame; in an instant, the fires were gone from my eyes. Scotland Yard then burst through the doors and darted towards me. I wanted to run for my life, but some divine power finally knocked some sense into me, and i stood still, and gave myself to the police willingly.

 

The walls of this cell are damp and padded with patches of soft mucus-like mould, and snakes slither in and out of the holes. I could have sworn it was the devil himself that had once spoken in my head, whispering promises beyond my wildest imagination, slowly but surely burning my innocent soul, which is now almost entirely consumed by the flames. In these days before my death, my mind still cannot comprehend the reason for the deeds I am now condemned for. If an analogy were made, even a blind man would see that young boy's mind was unsurprisingly unlike the mind that is currently rotting here in this damp cell, festering with self-torment as I pen my unfortunate memoirs an hour before my most-awaited execution.

THE END