Last Poem I'm Wasting On You (Last Night)

In the dark of the midnight gloom
The air glitters with memories of once-lovely-nights
And as i gaze up to the gleaming moon
Grasping every drop of it's light

The stars, in awe, whisper to my eyes
They glisten at every tear i shed
They echo all his past lies
At the sound of this, my heart bled

"Dear stars, please talk, don't whisper to me."
Then they sang back at my pleadings
"What is it you wish to share with me?"
"Let me satisfy your aching needs..."

"Will he come back? Will i see him again?"
"We don't know." They said to me
"Does he still write about me with his pen?"
Then they shouted "He loves you no more! You selfishly fail to see!"

My hands shake with my blood-red tears
I can see him there, in front of me
With a notebook and pen to write away my fears
He fades away, leaving me with a love i can no longer hear

My eyes are red with cold fire
My vision blurs with a slice of a knife
Drops of love trickle down as it burns with fire
With this, i shall join the stars, and leave my life

"Why did he leave me so?"
I tearfully cursed the diamond-studded night!
"I love him so, why cant he see?!!"
I screamed with all my might!

"Why did he leave me so?"
I painfully asked the stars
"Why did he leave, and let me go?"
"Stop crying" the stars twinkled back "lock your love in a jar!"

"Lock it in a jar, and throw it in the river!"
I replied "If i do so, my beatless heart will bleed again, never..."
Then the stars ever so silently, slowly slip away
No more star-filled nights for me, here i remain, on the ground i lay...

Reviews

[Call Me Cash]

I am always amazed at how a broken heart can trigger something beautiful. I am a bit concerned about the repetition in the last 2 stanza's, but nothing that would sway me completely.
I find this piece to be relatable, each person (girls esp) can connect with this and that is a wonderful characteristic to have as a writer. To connect with the audience.

Kudos!

[ebur™]

heart breaking, wonderful, amazed.... it was like a story inside a poem. great job! :)

[charlotte talley]

so heart breaking, I felt every line.this is a good piece you written.keep it up.it flowed very nicely. a person should be able to relate to this piece.

[R.D.Scott]

I love pieces that deal with heartbreak and this is another good one. It flows well in places but is a little jumpy. but over all I love it.

[KimmiChristine(:]

This is a great piece! Its beautifully written and flows nicely. Filled with emotion, sadness, pain and suffering, but still a great poem!

[Bud]

This is a Wonderfully written story of heartbreak! Oh, how we all have felt this so many times. It hurts immensely when we are no longer loved by the we give our hearts to. No other pain like it, for sure. I don't think we'll ever discover the reason for that person no longer loving us, except to say that people do drift apart. Rest assured that it will come to pass, and you will find love again. We learn to deal and cope with the pains of life that are put in the way of our paths. Life is simply a work in progress that is in a state of constant change.
Excellent work of art! Your emotions are expressed well in this piece. Keep up the Outstanding work!

[Tainted Angel]

This is wonderful! A heart broken, and yearning to be mended. Love hurts, people say, and sometimes it's too much to bare for any one person. It's sad, yet beautiful. I loved every word way before I was finished reading.