Tears

Her tears were an ocean
Dripping down her cheeks
And I was the boat
That sailed on it for weeks

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Love the imagery and the metaphor.......however, I find "weeks" a tad forced. I mean, there is an argument that could justify it's place - an addition to the interpretation, if you will - but I still hear the rhyme as forced somehow. But clever piece nonetheless. Well done!

[Inkh(e)art]

Gotcha I'll keep that in mind. It was a quick piece I wrote years ago and hadn't given too much thought to it. If something comes to my mind that fits better then I might change it up a bit :)