Disrespect

Wow this really needs to end,
I'm just disrespecting a friend.
For months I have been sad,
Faking the happiness I've had.
Living my life like a fraud,
Day to day praying to God.
Asking him to take my hurt,
Then it happens and I am dirt.
Last night was my first bliss,
Then I realized it's his sis.
I began to tear myself down,
In my hate I would drown.
What's going on in my mind,
There is a truth I will find.
Typically I am normally strong,
Last night was weak and wrong.
Why do I like his little sis,
How could I do him like this.