This Is My Hell

Title says it all.

Pain burns beneath me,

Salvation up above

May I fly to my freedom

Or will I descend below

*

A balancing act is life

Murky dark and brilliant white

Which will win over

In this inevitable strife

*

This pressure is unbearable

Will it rip me apart

Will I become a diamond

Or ugly grey rock

*

Will the stars up above

Show me the path

Or will greed win over

In an ugly wrath

*

Will angels guide me

Or demons misalign me

My heart break into pieces

Or my being become complete

*

Would sickness exist without health

Would pain without evil

Joy without good,

Heaven without hell

*

Many believe heaven a haven

Where evil cannot reside and

Hell a nasty burning abhorrence,

How wrong they are

*

I'd rather make hell my sanctum

Numbed in all to pain

Rather than ascend

To a charlatanic paradise

*

For what is a world

With no loss

And no gain

*

Pearly gates or

Circles of torture

*

All I know is,

At the moment

I live in my

Own personal hell

 

Author's Note

Just to let everyone know, I am not agnostic nor an atheist. In this poem, heaven and hell are metaphors. Thanks! Honesty is appreciated.