Party

A stream of consciousness type deal.

Pop dank in a children's balloon, bouncing.
All the faces, walls are gone to me in the room.
Bright lights bite me and I tumble down into it.
Finally, I speak, this is what I need.
No longer, no longer, anything no longer.
I don't want to wake. How do I?
When before I could now I can't, I am no longer in there it goes for my eyes.
If only, no longer I could take you to me and in my arms you would see all the waves I'm made for you on the shore, can you come to me now?
My brain is biting, but not me or you.
Oh please could I?
Take you down and explore....
No longer am I here or queer, I am simply in,
but I didn't know then about.
No longer, no longer,
the bright lights are loud and my eyes,
were you me I would be FURIOUS but I don't.
No longer, don't ask for me the lights already have, no longer.

Author's Note

I'm fairly sure this sucks. The weird punctuation/bold, italics, underlines etc were to replicate the effect of how I originally wrote it in a notebook.

Reviews

[Que]

Well, it worked, so you've got permission to pat yourself on the back. And eat a cookie, if you will.

[Ben M]

I guess that's the whole point of this thing. I was trying to use words in a way that it could make any images that the reader projected upon them. That, or I just figured I'd write down some words and hope it all went well.

[Que]

Aw, wtf, pretty much got it all wrong then. Lol, oh well. Suppose that proves how people can interpret the same thing differently I guess...

[Ben M]

Lol. I guess the person was intoxicated was the idea.

[Que]

I like this. I'll admit, it is a bit confusing to read (or at least it was for me - I had to reread some verses to understand how they followed the previous one) but either way, I like how you created a bit of a wild image of someone's thoughts - which is precisely how many find themselves thinking (did I get all of that wrong? At least that's what I got out of the poem...).
My favourite line is: "My brain is biting, but not me or you". I'd never heard of something like that. :)
I didn't understand the ending though. More explicitly, the last two lines. It came as a bit of a surprise to find such anger then - I don't really understand how it followed everything else... ?
And it doesn't suck. It's good, dude.
Cheers.