Center

i’m thankful for the fact i didn’t do anything awful when she was next to me

like have my arms fling around like a blow-up mascot outside of a car dealership

i could have done that and it didn’t happen and i’m glad

i’m thankful for how close our legs were together

made me nervous

stomach act up

sit up and sit down over and over

i felt guilty looking down at your hands

and how they felt each other

wondered how mine would fit in there

did the equations in my head

math didn’t work

but i hoped that maybe divine intervention would piece them together like blocks

didn’t need to worry anyway

still like before i had a garden growing in my center

i wanted you to water it

i want you to press your mouth against mine and breath in sunshine so i light up

one or one hundred or one thousand flowers would push out of my skin like soil

i also wanted magical goggles to see inside her head

and see if she was hoping for the same

it’s the same weird little games i play inside my head

to keep my head from spinning around the room

or my head from bubbling up or drooping down like wax

i’m thankful i didn’t lean over and say anything terrible

like words “i love you”

i have the power inside of me to love and place that inside another

that’s an ability

a switch

thankful for the fact that it’s been off so far

or has it?

looking at boots

next to her on couch

in between us was a couple inches of air, a mile of thought, a trillion molecules,

an entire ocean of electricity

the games i play get me in trouble too often

because i never break the rules

even when i can