Pillows, Sheets, Covers

from dependency to independency, story of my unrequited love

I remember for a week, I could smell him on my pillow, my sheets, my covers

Always unknown when I'd see him again

His lingering scent kept me at peace

Re-living every single moment with him up to now

I had lost my mind, lost myself

But not the way I lost myself deep in his kiss

Or how we always got lost in each other as soon as we had a moment alone

even sneaking into my backyard just to indulge--

No

I lost myself forgetting about everything around me

Forgetting who I was and who I might be the next day

And it was never his fault or anyone's

that his company, his voice, his presence was all I cared about

Masking all of my deepest, darkest demons

The same demons that always dug holes in my heart

They subsided because I blinded them instead of banishing them

It was sunshine with him and darkness without him

A dependency built that I didn't mind

So when it was quiet and I was able

It was just me, my pillow, my sheets, my covers

Only now, the dependency is gone

and they smell of my perfume

And I have yet to crumble again