Companionship

                        Companionship

 

            As a human I feel a general urge to be with a mate, to find someone procreate and live with.  That much is certain for most humans on earth and it is an expected thing.  But past human nature and instinct is there another nature that drives us as thinking beings?  I believe so and I do not seem to be able to come up with anything to call it but personal nature.

            As a sentient being, I rationalize, I have emotions, and I think to extents that other organisms do not, I want things.  So as a being of this type, can some of those things that come from my nature that I want, become things I need?  Do I need a well balanced up bringing or is it something that our rational brains want in a chaotic nature.  Chaotic to our rational minds, or beautiful to an opened eye either or can be understood by myself at times.

            Over the last 5 years I have started a change that has led me to new places within myself and new places of understanding.  And in the last year and a half many things have happened.  Old journeys bore fruit as I realize things that I made happen in whom I am I grew from the person I was and I consciously made it happen with the help of life.  All the while since I grew to begin this path, things seemed old they seemed as if I’d see it all before.  As a personal belief, I trust in the idea of reincarnation, and it feels as if I’ve lived this world so much that nothing is truly a surprise to me and in the end there is only one thing that makes me feel like its new and that I don’t know what to expect.  The wanting, the needing of a companion.

            A lover can become jealous, they have hard times forgiving, and they can only see as far as a lover can.  The depths of a person does not end with love even if it may begin there, so how can a lover, who is a mere friend, though the relationship is built solely on that love can it last or does there need to be a building block before the love?  I believe so, my entire life I have strove to be with a friend, that friend has changed names and persons many times though the striving stayed for I have always thought that to be with someone and have it be real, something that can last it must be built on something as strong as a true friend.

            An acquaintance is simple; they speak with you and you with them no real connection is made unless genuine conversation is had.  Small talk is made, slight openings may be made in ones thoughts or the others but neither is willing to admit it on the most general occasions.  And even with the pure lack of personal connection these are the most common of people’s interactions.

Genuine conversation is a means to the ultimate end of a friendship, the one that never comes.  A friend is a single flower, it is ready to spread its pollen and become a thriving flower among dozens but it needs the willingness of the other flower.  One flower can’t pollinate the whole area of their soul’s meadow alone; they need the help of another’s pollen to make their soul’s place of rest one to always be beautiful.

            A true friend, someone who can say they dropped a single finger in the ground of your desert of a heart, and that one hole, from one finger, sprang up rivers of all scales.  Creeks sliding down the base of your heart to your toes giving you a sense of modesty, rivers rushing towards the tip of your heart and spreading into hundreds of drops the size of lakes to your fingers giving you that feeling of strength you were missing before.  A true friend can make you feel like it is possible and is happening inside you, that the feeling of all the earths water is flowing through you all from one, little, finger.

            I want a companion; I need a companion that is there to walk along side me.  I need her to be the one I hold during the most dangerous storms of my life, and I need to be her rock when she receives her blasts of sand storm from the desert floor.  I need to be a true friend to her, and give her strength when she needs it, show her lights she missed around the corner.  I need her to take my hand, close my eyes, and lead me to the most beautiful flower I have ever had the nature given privilege to witness.  I need to be able to hold her when she trembles, and her able to hold my knee as it shakes from the bones while I cry my woes, of which I am no different from others in that I have many.  I need to touch the tips of our noses together, look into her eyes and tell her, that I need her.

Reviews

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Wow this writing is full of truth.. such a great road you have taken in wisdom.. as relationships must start as friendships and continue with that said friendship.. to evolve to that true love.. so many mistake lust as love and it is very easy to do.. butterflies.. tingling.. all are great feelings but not true love ... true love takes many years to develop and it is with that true companion that we find it.. have to look past outer beauty.. and look inwards.. and here in this writing you are finding your pathway to your companionship.. through your thoughts and with working on who you are as a person.. personal growth! You sound like an intelligent and great person... keep writing and hopefully you will find that great companion one day!!! =)