An Empathic Tale of Love.

 

Empathy

            That day I left that girl.  We went through many times and many a good times.  I can honestly say that she was the first to respond to my hearts shouts, she heard me screaming I wanted to be loved back.  I wanted love since I was too young to understand it, but she didn’t care she knew it was true.  We proved love at first sight for one another, and we had our love.  Some saw fit to try and make that love fail, and for a time during a moment of weakness and confusion they succeeded in driving me away.  Though I corrected myself and saw fit to resolve my confusion head on. 

            We were back together again and things flew, we were happy again and felt whole once more.  Feeling whole is something that is taught to be sought after, though is made from the get go a search for something that was taken from ourselves.  We once were whole, in the beginning but then something happens and it’s taken without realization or permission.  So there we were filling our unwanted voids with one another and it seemed as though it was a perfect fit.  Though as all things do, I felt a change occur within myself.

            I have decided that in order to understand myself, I must be willing to work through who I am and change things.  Because in order to truly change something one must understand that thing and either over come it or change it.  I had already begun this process of mine earlier in this second attempt at a love, and I could consciously feel when I would succeed over a certain trait of mine.  And with these changes I was provoking changed something in my perception of the world and how I see things.  I saw my love for her and I saw the things I need in my new life, the love is something I could always value though with that love a void of myself was being filled by someone else.

            To understand myself I need to be all of myself, I needed to be able to say I am trying to fill that void that was taken with my own.  I needed to know I can be everything that I am, and everything that I am not yet and to do that as said I have to be all of myself.  No piece can be missing, I must be whole. 

            On April 15, 2008 I left that girl, for the last time I left that love.  I carry my love for her with me always for it showed me things I couldn’t have learned otherwise.  I looked at it as a positive move for my life, I cherish the time I had with her it helped me grow up to the point where I could start growing on my own again.  I hope I helped her grow too, I know I helped her grow because growing and learning is mutual.  It will happen between anyone who interacts and converses, because experiences are the driving force of our passions.  My passion is to learn and change; this was a change I had to make.

            As I said those words to that love, I felt something in my chest and I could not put the word to it or a word that fit the magnitude.  I saw her tears run, and her heart shatter.  I can honestly say I had my most truthful empathic experience; the feeling in my chest was her heart.  Yes I am saddened by the fact that I have ended our time together but I am positive about the time afterwards.  I will explain a heart that shatters. 

            A light feeling began in my chest, a feeling so miniscule that it hadn’t truly registered yet.  It started in the back of the heart; it seeped through the veins in my heart and out of them flowing with energy.  To explain that kind of energy that flowed through that broken heart, it would take every word for sorrow in human nature.  Though I say in my words; a broken heart feels like a feather that has been tickling pure rapture into your body from your very core has been removed.  That tickle is no longer present, and a thin hole with pieces of feather continues to try and tickle the heart once more.  Though without the whole feather those pieces merely play the role of hope, and hope it did and has.  Unfortunately a pain was caused by my hands, a pain I never want to give anyone ever again.  And what’s more is that I cannot fix that pain for I must go my own way, and she hers.  This, I consider my first truly empathic moment.