A More than Modest Proposal for Thanksgiving

To be greater, we must first give thanks.

 Today while giving thanks, in this soon-to-be greater country, 

instead of carving a turkey, we should all consider becoming

 even more patriotic. A turkey, while it may represent this great 

holiday in a small way, what if we could celebrate not only our 

thanks, but our greatness as well? Truly, a modest proposal, in

 such a great country. What would be America without its 

greatness? Why not show it today in our thanksgiving? 

We have already, in our amazing ability of making this great 

country even greater, combined our day of Thanksgiving with

 the wonderful tradition of purchasing gifts for our loved ones 

for our Christmas celebrations, as we are, and all should be giving 

thanks to our God first. The gleeful squeals of the fun experience can 

be heard all over the country.

These beautiful and Godly traditions make for an

 amazing tribute to this great day of celebration. Native 

Americans should no longer be the center to this great holiday. While small-brained and useless, they fight their

 hate-filled war by illegally blocking transport against great American corporations, are rightfully being maced and disfigured 

as they are breaking the laws of this land. 

Immigration from Mexico and Syria are disgustingly still trying

to inundate our great country with their murderers and rapists. Again, I say, we need to strive to celebrate today, not only in our thanks, but in our greatness. Today, I shall now humbly propose a solution to our more than just grievances, I have found that a hindquarter of a well-fed yearling Native American, Mexican, Syrian and Muslim to be quite the delectable addition to any Thanksgiving meal in combination with our typical green bean casserole, pumpkin pie and stuffing, of course. Which, the stuffing will have to be made with the consideration of different flavors in the meat. While Turkey can have a good flavor, human meat is rather a different taste altogether and significantly more tasty. Of course, all of the same fixings will apply to this meal. The consideration of this meat selection is one that will not only add to our pleasant meal, there will be a sense of togetherness that has been missing for far too long on this day. Families can rejoice in their greatness whilst feasting on a hindquarter of a Syrian child. One who would have been of no use alive, now brings a closeness to our family as we celebrate today. While Syrian and Mexican meat will be leaner and less filling, the Native American selection should be more flavorful and bountiful, as they have been free-range for quite some time. Muslim meat is quite flavorful as well, especially when your stock was chosen from wealthy and highly educated Muslims. Either of these choices will make a fine addition to your thanksgiving meal. What a fine way to celebrate our victory in this recent election than by feasting on our enemies. I hope you consider my more than modest proposal. It is what we, as Americans, can do to make this country great again.