A Porch For Us

A confession.

   The sun was slowly settling over the small suburban horizon. Its ruddy hues embraced the corners and nooks of the houses and trees, casting a warm glow around. He sat on the swinging bench on the porch, watching the night slowly take over the day. His legs dangled effortlessly below the seat, occasionally kicking out in a naive sort of manner. He looked down into his hands at the scribbles and scratches his pen had wrought on the paper; each line delicately crafted his thoughts into coherent symbols. He bowed his head, and closed his eyes for a brief moment.

   He produced a small tack, and affixed the letter to the back of the porch swing. He promptly left, and returned to his home to crawl under the covers.

   A few hours later, she arrived home from school. Tired, and a bit weary, she climbed the steps to her front door. She stopped as a fluttering motion caught her eye. Putting down her schoolbag, she walked over to the swing and pulled the paper off. Her heart raced as she recognised the handwriting. Her eyes fell across the words and emotions that enveloped the paper's body. By the end, her own face was enveloped in heat, and tears.

~       ~       ~

   I hope you read this soon. I do not know what tomorrow will bring, or where we'll both go, but I know that now more than ever I need to tell you these things.

   We'd spent so much of our time trying to get to know each other, trying to find something new, something common, something safe and happy. I saw it in you, and you saw it in me. If I were to say I never doubted, I would be lying. I doubted a lot, and was even more scared than I think you can imagine. You have no idea how beautiful you are to me. Nor have you an idea just what you mean to me, what you've become to me in such a short amount of time.
   But I know my feelings are true, that they have a base and reason. That my thoughts and desires are pure, honest...

   I remember how we'd stay up late at night, talking about nothing. We'd chatter about the day, and laugh at stupid little jokes. You'd be sad some days, and I'd go that extra mile to put a smile back on your face, and pretend I could permanently dry your tears. Every minute we spoke, I wanted to wrap myself around you. Not to shield you from the world, but to remind you to embrace everything you want in your life. Everything you deserve.

   And in my heart I know you deserve me. And I, you.

   I still think back to the night we talked of the rain. The storms that we'd been having recently. You asked me what I thought would be romantic, and I said that I would love to cuddle up on the couch, under a blanket, during the rain. The sound of the droplets pattering mindlessly against the rooftop. I would fall asleep with you in my arms, and you'd rest your head against my chest, to count out the rhythms of my heartbeat.
   Then, I turned to you and asked you what you thought was romantic. That's when you told me about your porch. We'd sit on the porch, on the swing, and watch the world soak and clean itself. The sound of the droplets hitting the wood, and pavement, and street, all harmonizing with each other. You smiled and blushed as you spoke. My heart simply melted. I wanted to cup your head in my hands, and pull you in. I wanted to taste you, your lips, the softness you exuded every time you spoke to me.

   Our distance has become very apparent over the last couple of months. I know I have myself to blame for not being more "aggressive". You know I would never want to hurt you, and you've had more than enough hurt already.  In the end, though, I still hurt you. You created a new shell, and I failed to break through. I wanted you to see that there are still good people in this world. People who want you for you, not for petty trivial things. That someone can honestly, and fully love you, no matter what happens.
   And it's true. I do love you. I've loved you for some time now. I continue to love you as you shut me out, even though I know why you do. When I compared your glass lips to a treasure one should be appalled to break, you begged me to break you before you burst. At least, I think you did... I still do not know.

   And yet I cannot break you. I don't have that kind of power. I can only love you, and support you in everything you do. I can promise to give you everything you could ever want in life, but that will mean nothing if you do not seize me. Seize me and never let go. We can't fix one another, we can only fix ourselves. Before I start to ramble further, I should stop. I wanted you to know that I love you. Honestly, and truly. And that no matter where our lives take us, you will always be important, and integral to my life. Don't ask why, because you know why.
   Seize me. In full. You already have my heart.

   And we can share that porch together. The porch that was meant for us.

~       ~       ~

   She kicked her legs mindlessly as she sat upon the swing, reading his letter of confession. Her face was heated and exhausted. Her mind raced and her heart kept in hot pursuit. She didn't know what to say, how to react. She clutched the paper close to her chest, and cried as the swing gently rocked her back and forth. She opened her front door, and walked inside. She tossed her bag to the floor, and crawled into bed.

   For an hour she tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. His words ran through her head, drowning her in possibilities, consequences, options, paths, blockades. The sound of gently falling rain forced her to sit upright. It's subtle drone soothing her aching mind, slowly giving her the clarity she needed to speak, to respond. She got out of bed, and got dressed. Flinging the front door open, she rushed outside and made her way to his door. She was surprised to see that he, too, had a swing upon his porch--even more surprised to find him laying on the swing.

   She nudged him awake, and he looked up into her eyes--wide and full of tears. She sat down next to him and began to talk slowly.

   Everything changed that night.

Reviews

This is a lovely story. Loved the letter, really exposed the characters.
Great Job!

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Very romantic story Scott. The rain really had an affect on her and confirmed her direction and goal. Well told prose.