In The White Room

Describing my relationship to a young Filipina girl.

   I once had a dream that I stood within the confines of a room. It wasn't so much a room, after giving it more thought, but a space. Everything around me was of the purest white, yet I could see no walls, nor ceiling or floor. No furniture surrounded me, nor was there an entrance/exit. I was standing close to what felt like the "edge" of the space, in spite of there being no discernable end to it. As I looked around my space, I saw a Beautiful Figure standing in the center of the room.

   She stood only so tall, and was not bathed in any unearthly aura. She did not glow, nor did She shine. She was absent of all romantic clichés. Rather, She was as human as any symbol could be. Yes, yes, a symbol. Perhaps. She stood there, in that space's center, and would watch me endlessly as I carefully paced my way around the confines. As I gazed on out towards the "edges" of the space, I could still not see any defined end to where I was, but yet, I could "feel" it. And all around me stood the whiteness.

   Of course, I had noticed Her standing there some time before. But I was only just starting to now really "notice" Her. She held herself aloft with a pose of disquieted comfort. I found it rather amusing, if not endearing of Her. When I would hold Her gaze, a smile would sweep across Her face, and the "room" began to feel calm, and relaxing. The whiteness would slowly take on a light shade of blue, and I could feel my body begin to teem with a soothing wave.
   However, whenever I averted my gaze for but a brief second, Her smile disappeared, and the "room" took on a greyer shade, and I would be overcome with a sickly sensation. Whatever I had been doing, I stopped, and would look upon Her again. Only now, a far more extended period of time would suffice to soothe Her. This carried on for what felt like a millenia.

   One "day", if they existed in this plane, I sought to approach her--having had spent all of this "time" on the "Edges" of the space. I took my first step forward, and She moved away. At least, it appeared to be so. Rather, the space around Her seemed to move itself, and She had but remained within the center. She giggled, and spoke to me. It was then that I was ultimately stricken, and slowly led to a doom. Her voice rang with the beauty and range of a well-tuned violin. Each note bounced off of my ears in a blessed cacophany of dulcet tones.
   She spoke in an aria; a carefully constructed musical piece that charmed me to the very core of my being. Her arms out-stretched to me; calling me in. I followed my first step with another, and this time she did not "move". I was pulled forward by the space, and found myself "closer" to her. She spoke again, and thus the concerto had ended, for now Her voice rang with the sharp pang of rusted cutlery scraping against one another. It was deeply unsettling, and unpleasant; I shrunk back in horror.

   "What madness are you?!" I cried aloud, but She did not heed. Rather, She continued to issue her freakish cries, which only frightened me. And yet... I wanted to press onward. And so I did, with her "moving" away from me with each frantic step. I fell to my knees in horror at Her knell, and began to weep.
   And suddenly, She fell silent. I looked up, and through the veil of tears I saw that she had vanished. The space I once occupied had turned to a field of blossoming flowers, and a Cherry Tree looming overhead. I stood up, and dusted myself off. In the distance, I heard the distinct sound of violins, and cellos. I turned in their direction, and began to walk slowly toward their source.

   And then I awoke.