Excellent! The title fits so well with the end!! And the poem is intense AND suspenseful!! Dark and scary!!
The stanzas are well written, I like the fact that there's no punctuation (except at the end...)
Its simple language, but that just makes it so much more eary and perfect!! Makes me think of Wiliam Blake's "The Garden of Love"...
And the emotions!! They really come through!! Well written!!!!
That was intense, scary and amazing, all at once. It sounds like a four line story of a few unfortunate girls who had to go through such abuses in their life. The fact that they are from the very eye of them makes it more creepy. In the end, the reader is left with sympathy for the girls and the anger for those who caused them so much pain.
Overall, very well written... Loved it! :)
(If u're reading this on/after 1st Jan 2010 then HAPPY NEW YEAR! ) :D
I would sincerely like to know whether this is just a story. Although it is very well written I sense a lot of confused and pent up emotions here. You are masochistic,aren't you? If so, welcome to the club.
That was...wow...intense, emotional...highly...enjoyable? I don't know if that would be the word, but that's what came to mind! Check out my stuff please!
~Happy Writing!~
Angel
Your words capture such horror, such isolation, such loss... You vividly speak a world of emptiness into our existence... So many years was I suicidal, and this was my world... Powerful!
***~~***IF YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND PLEASE REVIEW SOMETHING OF MINE FIRST***~~***
I accept that i am imperfect... I am proud of it... It's in our imperfections that make us who we are... they.. more..