The Grave You Dug Me

 

Suffocate me in my screams

 

Listen to my cries.

 

I can feel you leering

 

Through your piercing eyes...

 

Your skin's too harsh and freezing

 

Just like your pin size heart.

 

Let the dirt pour over me

 

Cover my face with all your lies

 

Suffocate me in my screams

 

For all I want now is to die!!!

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

Wonderfully crafted! Such strong emotions of fear and anger, leading to ultimate release.
I loved the lines "Let the dirt poor over me
Cover my face with all your lies
Suffocate me in my screams"

The image of being buried alive ripped through my mind with this. Causing a skip of the heart and a tightening in the lungs, unable to breath!

Great Write!
Aaron

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

this is amazing , i love it

[Angelic Darkness]

Powerful and provacative. I think we all feel like digging our
own grave when a man hurts us...then we can come back to haunt
them LOL! AD

[Brianna Brie]

Love the metaphor in this poem. Powerful and riveting write!

[Love Struck]

wow, your use of emotion is awesome! i can feel the cries of pain, its so realistic.

Your skin's too harsh and freezing
Just like your pin size heart.

This would have to be my most favorite line. So descriptive! And the pictures on your page are beautiful, by the way. =)

[Moonblade]

You're one of my favorite poets on WritersCafe. I love the imagery you use in your writing and you certainly haven't disappointed with your latest piece. This was fantastic. I wish I could pick out a single favorite line from this poem, but I really can't. Bravi!

[These Haunted Hallways]

"Suffocate me in my screams"... WoH! I really felt that line! Really intense, and felt like i was being killed by somebody that was choking the life out of me, and i was screaming so hard- sorry that's what it felt like when reading it hehe. It was really, really good. Great emotions. U always do such a great job when expressing ur emotions :) Very good writng ;)

B.A.

[alyssa]

WOW!! very powerful!!! love it... keep writing!!

[An owl on the moon]

Powerful and deep in your vivid expression! This is an awesome piece that moves across the skin like a sharp knife. Brilliant!

Craig

[NightDream]

I think this is really dark and flows great. One poblem ...."Let the dirt poor over me" shouldn't that be pour? I like how easy it envokes the image of hoplessness, anger, and betrayal. Fantastic job!!