Stampede in the Hallway of Life

 

Stampede in the Hallway of Life

 

Your face scowled when I told you what I knew. The words were sharp and hurtful that flowed out of your mouth. We were in the hallway before 6th hour. The hall acted as a stampede and we struggled to hold on to each other. Worried I told you what I heard and you roared like a lion. The hallway grew still and you glared at me as if I was a demon. “Who the F*** told you that?” You bellowed in the hallway; everyone stood still. Many people saw your fist clench and saw you struggle to hold back a punch. A tear trickled down my face as I told you it was a theater kid. Your face contorted. Screaming you acted ignorant and still clenched your fist. Your fist was clasped so tight your knuckles were white, and I feared you could not restrain yourself anymore by the way it shook. More of my tears followed.

 

The bell rang its deafening screech; I scampered into my classroom, whimpering about what just happened. The classroom fell silent. Tears grasped my mascara and pulled down like a dirty river that soon would cover my entire face. My whole class heard you bellow at me; my whole class saw the tear streaks that covered my bright red face. You cheated on me or at least that is what I heard. Your hand grasped my heart and squeezed it as though it were a stress ball. I sniffled so much during class the teacher let me go and wash my mascara covered face. I came and saw you after I covered my face with water, wishing I could drown. I asked you to talk. You said you could not. You had a conference you were going to; you did not say when you would return. I left to go back into my class you screamed “Never” at me. I ignored you and just went into my classroom with tears starting to return. My face looked as if it were made of red marble from all the crying I had done. I left after class and walked to my locker in a daze. My friends tried to talk to me but I was distant and they seemed to notice that I needed to be left alone. I walked in a daze to the bus, and I stayed in my stupor until I got home where I cried and screamed until I made myself so sick I vomited.

 

I called you on Sunday, begging you to come over. You said no, and I wept. I fretted over you the whole weekend and you would not even come to my house. I went to the mall hoping to feel the happiness that shopping always brought to me. It did not fill the gaping hole that was in my heart. Maureen came with me to the mall, but not even my band daughter could help fill the cavernous space that you left in my heart. She held my hand when you and I talked; she said it was ok and that you do not deserve me. I did not believe her. It took me 2 years without you to believe her words. You controlled me. You were my love. You were my life. Trying to make me feel better, she wore some funny purple panties as a hat just to get a smile. It worked for the time being. That day you told me that I should trust you. I informed you I did. I would trust you with anything; I would trust you with my life. Your words felt like the dagger from Romeo and Juliet. They pierced my heart. I felt as if my world was about to end.

 

After only 3 months, you convinced me that you were the best that I could do. I was a fat cow, and I was lucky that you actually liked me. I am still recovering your sharp, wounding words. For two years, I had no self-confidence. For two years, I thought I was ugly. For two years, I believed you were the best thing in my life. None of my friends knew how much you hurt me. None of them knew that I felt as if I were an ugly cow that was worthless. No one knew that you would screw me up for the rest of my time in high school. Not even my sisters know how much you affected me. Not even my sisters know that you called me a worthless cow. They did not know that I believed it. It is still hard not to believe it. I have surrounded myself with people that get more attention than I do. They are stared at; I am not. However, I have realized that to be loved I must love myself. I must respect myself enough not to go looking for a person that just wants sex or a “good” time. If I am to build my self-confidence, I must live with myself and not look to someone else to build me up. Only I can do that.

 

 

I have thought about you every day sense we broke up. I think about you when I meet a new person. I think about the words you said and they continue to repeat in my head every time I look at my body and notice all my faults. For two years, I felt as if I were a fat ugly cow. Only now do I realize that I am beautiful no matter what you said. However, your words can still bring me down. I know I am beautiful, yet your words resound in my head every day, every second.

 

I tried everything to make your voice disappear, but it will not. It has faded though. I have cut my hair, and dyed it twice. Yet in my mind you still are there telling me your cutting words. I am beautiful whether you believe it or not. I am beautiful no matter what anyone says. My words were caught in my throat, unable to come out. I fell to the ground in tears. The words finally escaped my lips. You will no longer control my life. The hallway is still a stampede, but I will finally let you and your cutting words go.

 

 

After two years of you unconsciously controlling me, I have finally let you go. Though I still hear your voice, you will never control my life anymore. I am a new person. I will always remember you, but you will never make me feel like I have felt for the past two years. I am in college; I am not defenseless. I am beautiful, no matter what you say. Those words will never bring me down again.

 

Reviews

[Enigma]

Omg!! That was superb!! Simply amazing, I'd say!!
You really had all my attention with each word of yours up there. The strory flowed out like anything!!
I loved it!! It starts off with setting a sad mood but later on twists and turns and ends up on a very hopeful and inspirational note. I don't think there could've been a better ending to this.
I'm blown away by your style of putting the feelings, emotions and fears of the main character in such a realistic and vivid way. It's like the screen is talking to me...
I read the whole story out loud in the first go. And well, I know I'm repeating myself, but I really loved it. I felt like the girl telling the story...
I sure hope that it was all imagination and not some personal experience...
'Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder'
There's only one person on this planet that can truly make you feel bueatiful and pretty...and that's you.
One can't change what they are from the outside. But being a good person from the inside surely changes a lot of things. Once you get a positive outlook towards life, you don't really care how you look, coz' everytime you look at yourself, you're smiling. And everyone looks 'beautiful' when they're truly happy..
So keep smiling, be happy and write some more great stories!!!
AWESOME!!!

[Wolfwind Words]

A wonderfully writen endgame for a time of tribulation in your life.
A full gambit of ups and down and a resolution that in the end helps you grow.

I really liked how this was presented and how it allowed the reader to walk in your shoes for a moment in existance.

Great write!
Aaron

[Angelic Darkness]

I sniffled so much during class the teacher let me go and .....I think it should read:
I sniffled so much in class, that the teacher let me go
I assume in this sentence that the man is a teacher: I came and saw you after I covered my face with water, wishing I could drown. I asked you to talk. You said you could not. You had a conference you were going to; you did not say when you would return. I got confused here, and felt like enough info wasn't
shared.

I just got a little confused here:
Maureen came with me to the mall, but not even my band daughter ...never heard of a band daughter:).
In this sentence, it seems more like a run-on, and I think should be reworded: Not even my sisters know how much you affected me. Not even my sisters know that you called me a worthless cow.

I have thought about you every day sense we broke up....."since"

This is so true for so many girls who actually put up with this, and it saddens me.
This is a story I believe every young girl should read. There is strength here to
feel good about yourself no matter what someone has said, or how one may look.
This is such a inspirational piece. Great work! AD

[Every1s_psychotic_vampy..]

Wow, thats an amazing story. It relates to a lot of people I know and its a good lession for teens. =] I hope to read more of your writings when I get a chance, just send me requests please.

[These Haunted Hallways]

Woo Hoo!! U tell that dirt bag, girl lol!! Hey, this was so awesome, i have to tell ya ;) This so reminds me of my high school days, when everyone picked on me and stuff, -and even today, well, not recently, but it also reminded me of the bad relationships i had back then as well. It goes to show us that we must look out for people who ridicule us, bring us down, and people that only want sex. We must do everything we can to avoid these fake people, and filter out those that dont belong in our lives. Yes, we all have made mistakes in the past, either if it was our fault or not, still, we have a chance to do good, and be with the right people. No matter what ya look like, never ever let an a*****e bring u down, cause u dont need it in ur life. I so can relate to this little story. Good for u hun ;)

B.A.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Let his voice go and know that you are beautiful. And an excellent writer as well. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[DeAn]

Thank you my lil angel. you may have just saved my life.

thank you for sharing this with me. god bless you love.

-DeAn