The Loss of Persephone

 

The Loss of Persephone 

 

The pain of Dionysus…

 

Tears dripping against a pillowcase

Fears building, covering your face

Exhausted cries of no more

Suffocating screams from your core

Popularity at it’s worst

The worry you might burst

 

Psyche’s curiosity…

 

Hope of a child

Pain of a death

Gain of a new family

Happiness of another breath

 

A brand new masquerade,

You don’t want to share

Breathless gasps for air

 

Hands clasped together

Eyes closed tight

Life without time

Wants of tonight

 

The Maenads Thyrsus…

 

Happiness of a win

Claustrophobia closing in

Fame going to your head

The want to lie in bed

Sadness of a loss

The feeling of exhaust

 

The loss of Persephone…

 

Tears dripping against a pillowcase

Fears building, covering your face

Exhausted cries of no more

Suffocating screams from your core

Claustrophobia closing in

Breathless gasps for air

Happiness of another breath…

Reviews

[Michael X]

Such accentuated emotion- this is very well written - the concept is functions in multiple ways
the title-creates a metaphorical glimpse for what's to come-as you break the idea into four key
elements-each building upon the next- starting with tears and ending with tears-realistically portrait
examination of life-contemplation is at the core-showing what it means to struggle
in light of controversy-The loss of peresphone- experiencing the pain caused by such events.

"Tears dripping against a pillowcase
Fears building, covering your face
Exhausted cries of no more
Suffocating screams from your core
Claustrophobia closing in
Breathless gasps for air
Happiness of another breath�

[chris' girlfriend]

wow thats a great poem!!!! your a great wrriter
thanks for sending me a read request :)

[Annalisa]

This was lovely. There were a few rough spots, but nothing too bad. The main thing that I don't understand is the title... The piece is about so many, and to just call it by one... it may be that I'm missing some sort of reference, I'm a little rusty on my mythology but I was thinking something more inclusive would fit the piece better.

"The worries you might burst"--------->Change worries to worry

"A brand new masquerade, you don't want to share"--------->Start a new line after the comma to keep consistency

[An owl on the moon]

Absolutely magnificent write! Your work here has a dark, ancient soul that moves likes ripples on water. And the choice of font just adds to its perfection. Amazing!

[Flow]

This one has a really nice beat and flow to it. It is wonderful actually!! I see great improvements in your writings. You have found your musical balance and your command of words are improving! excellent write

[Robert A. Pacheco]

Wow. Very nice indeed. Filled with expression. Absolutely stunning.
I loved it from beginning to end. =D

~Rob~

[Kat_BT]

Very well done! It flows wonderfully and is very expressive. I certainly need to learn a little more about mythology :)

[Fran Marie]

A beautiful piece so wonderfully expressed and well penned~Fran Marie

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

beautifully penned, my friend. really liked this. nicely done.


Great Write.

[a Messenger]

Beautifully done Kristy. Mythology at its finest.
This is one of your best. From structure to your
understanding and re-telling of the myth.
I love it and it will go in my favorites.