the demons I have not slain

This is my first official poem you can be as judgemental as you want to this just tell me how well I have done and What I can improve on thanks

People just don't know the feeling how much I'm hiding
People don't know the battles I'm fighting
I just really hate feeling all this pain
It'll be inevitable for me to kill these demoms I have not slain
Your asking me to do my best
But i try and and gave it nothing less
I never really tasted success
Because I'm a total loser a failure to society
You think you know me because I'm always smiling
But you don't know whats inside of me
If I was to die to day how will you remember me?
Will you see what I see
Will you have missed me?
Would you want me back?
Would you ask me to stay?
Help me with the demons I haven't slayed?
No you wouldn't
Hurt my self I couldn't
why? Because suicidal I'm not

Author's Note

I still need to finish it I'm going to put some more work in here just tell me what y'all think so far thanks

Reviews

[Tomoe Tellez]

Besides the few grammar mistakes, I think this is okay for being your first. I like the strength of the voice in this poem, he knows his wrong but even if he hasn't slayed his demons he doesn't want to give up the easy way by killing himself off. Great job!

[Joseph Tafoya]

Thanks this is my first time sharing what I write about me on here my writing is my story and yea my grammer is bad I need to work on it

[Tomoe Tellez]

Why don't you try downloading "Grammarly", it is an app on google chrome that corrects grammar and spelling. And I give you my best wishes, life is tough and I applaud you for not being suicidal, that is never the answer.