I don't want to lose her

This is to my best friend in the world that I almost lost and still have feeling's for I'm sure of it I'll give this writing piece in the future but for now it'll be here.

Look at us. We made it so far in life together. I'm sixteen and your birthday is coming up. Sadly I can't go and I'm sorry for that but I promise for every birthday, Christmas, valentines day, and all the other holiday's I miss I'll make it up to you. All the time when we talked in middle school I felt amazing like you just give me a shock to the chest that makes me feel more alive than I ever felt. Your my best friend and I'll die to protect you when no one else can and that means from fist to knives, bullets,guns,pistols,rifles,grenades and all on.
Look it might sound stupid, but you where the best thing that ever happened to me and if I lose you again I will never be the same again. you opened up something that no one else did, And I did the same to you we both did things that no one ever did. Haha on Monday, July 26 around 2:30 am we both talked about our future together. How you and me are going to be detectives and we are going to buy a house together and have a swimming pool and two dogs and I'll be your best man at your wedding no matter what your future husband thinks and all three of us will live together. Then me and my future comes in and that's four of us in one house with two dogs. No matter what you said I'm not leaving your side at all and if your husband becomes a trouble and can't respect you and me hanging you'll handle it.
I love you so much I'll try my best to not be a bother to your future husband. But I promise you this, if he dears to hurt you I'll take a nice sleep in jail for almost killing him until you come and bail me out haha. You know there is only one thing that you always mention and I hate it just f*****g hate it when you bring this back, the fight. You always say that it's your fault when you know it's not your fault at all. People just didn't want us to go out and they tried to break us apart and started rumors to ruin us. And they got what they wanted but I guess they wanted more.
The next day you came to me yelling and screaming saying that I said this and that. I don't want to put down details because writing this is already hurting me. I was surprised that you did this and had no idea what you were saying. But unfortunately I caught up to late. Things got worse between us and more s**t was said, end of the school year was coming and then we'll be freshman. That whole last month of eighth grade was hell for me because I loved you and you hated me. I changed if you haven't noticed.
I wanted to make it up to you as well, for what ever I did wrong.so when valentines day came and the dance was coming up I went and bought you a gift. A beautiful necklace and made a card to you my self. But at school I realized how stupid I was for thinking you'll forgive me. You where not interested in seeing me and when I saw you with him I threw the necklace as far as I can on the field and torn the card and put it in my pocket. People watched but no one cared. I still have the card and your jornual and all the other things you gave me.
But one day in the summer you called me. I was about to smoke some weed I just got but you interrupted. I was very surprised you did. "Hello?" I said, tears was all I got out. You told me how much you missed me and talking to me and you are very sorry for doing this to me. But I didn't care. I didn't care blue much pain you caused me, for how much my grades had dropped because of you, for how much money I spent on that necklace, for how much time I put in to finding what happened between us so I can fix it. I didn't care.
You see all I wanted was to be your favorite again and be the one to make you smile when you need it and be the one to put your head on my shoulders when no one else is around. The one you call at three in the morning when you can't sleep.I wanted that back. But I can only get part of it back. I was still happy I had you back in my life whether you moved to downtown or not. I had you back in my life and I became me again. But who said this was a happy ending?
I had to leave and you cried and cried. I'm sorry but it had to happen my mom was having a hard time taking care of three kids by her self. I tried helping her take care of my two little ones but she didn't want me to lose my teenage life or whatever she called it. So it was settled, we leave everything besides our clothes when we lost our house and we drive all the way to Washington state to stay with my grandma.
But we talk on the phone a lot and laugh and plan the future for us. And that is what I love about you, even when people turn their backs on us you know I'm there and we will stay by each others side until we die. I'm going to try my best to get that house for us I promise you that and I'm not going to give up on our future. Well I don't know how to end this, I don't want to but I think you'll get tired of reading this so I'm just going to say that I'll talk to you real soon and I love you, bye