What Hurts

Knowing I won't be the same ever again.

Never being able to feel love.

Never able to be happy if only through brief lapses.

Stuck in suspended animation only worse than Connor Macleod in The Sanctuary.

Slaved to the chains of depression.

Branded by the lightning storms of stress.

Knowing I failed to stop Tina and have her behind bars like the pedophile she is.

I used to be Octavian Wild Storm leader of Egypt's army now that means nothing.

Trapped in my own sanitarium and the warden's my sanity.

Knowing Mom will pass.

Knowing I'll never get to see Amy before I die.

Knowing my fear of sex will haunt me way past 40.

Never truly having a real mother that I always wanted.

That sadness will rule my ways.

That rage will eventually win and end my miserable heart.

That alcohol will only numb my pain.

That smoking will only be a temporary outlet to my stress.

A mighty warrior now nothing but a fable.

Controversial now censored by the FCC.

Fallen.

Disgraced.

Lost.

Torn.
 

Broken.

Pride stripped bare.

Honor taken away.

Glory forever gone.

Love that was phoenix strong now nothing but a dying rose next to a flickering candle.

Mind like a steel trap now ruled by immortal insanity.

This is what hurts.