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about rayne

     Rewind it all back to the beginning to when nothing mattered and I had nothing but balls and my controversial word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I made myself impenetrable nothin could touch me in any way, shape or form.

Consumed with my own greed and power I let myself go all out took on the pedophile and won.

But at what cost?

I got a weak heart and insanity from it.

But slowly I regained it all back:

What love is and what it means

My 2006 persona

My writing ability

My ability to love again and that’s thanks to my ex the one who chose a marriage proposal over me.

My seven year crush on a girl named Jess Brown but I’ll never tell her cause I’m a coward like that.

All in all I went from 15 different girls that I could cyber with at anytime 3 years ago down to two.

I’m not gonna lie to you, Rayne I really do love you with all my heart but it’s not just you that has my love the other is Emmy.

It’s funny how I operate I don’t plan any of this s**t just happens :P

I never planned on falling in love with you in a matter of months and in true honesty I wish I had stayed in touch with you instead of abandoning you like I did with most of my friends from ap, who knows maybe you’d be in a better way and Aiden would have that stick pulled from his a*s :D.

But alas I catch everybody from 06 on the coattails of their lives V_V so it’s like that.

As for Emmy, we’ve kept in touch since 06 despite the time I wanted space from fighting with that pedophile cause s**t was getting so heavy but still we stayed in touch but it’s just funny though.

Emmy fell in love with me only took three years but still it surprised me cuz I’ve like never had anyone fall for me cept for one but she don’t count cause she fucked me over.

But Rayne the thing is you keep me upright and straight and I just don’t know but it’s like I told Rache:

making you happy and smile comes first

sex doesn’t factor in with you but if it did that comes last.

And with Emmy? I love her but not like I do with you ergo my dilemma ><.

I played through every scenario between me and you if you came up and it’s like bliss but that doesn’t matter.

You want the truth?

Okay the truth is if you do come up I’m happy and if you don’t then ya know thanks for the false hope and raising my happiness up.

The one thing with you that keeps me going strong is that dream I had of you with your son THAT is my reason for sticking around so I can see that dream come true after that, heh I’m gone.

But if I’m the father I’ll stay but it’s like Yoda said "Always in motion the future is"

As for every scenario it’s like this:

You come up with James we stay away from each other till there’s a free moment make love he finds out goes postal verbal fighting then fists he goes to hospital and either me or Seth get arrested or we both get arrested jail time

You come up same situation without James make love it’s a painful but happy goodbye couple days go by and you tell me you’re pregnant Aiden finds out blows his top I fly out to explain how it happened while he’s trying to kill me then James finds out both of them try to kill me all three of us end up behind bars both our families are in disarray I’d probably kill myself behind bars cause I’m not playing b***h and you’re back to your old habits till you rache reminds you about our child and that’s if Aiden didn’t knock you around and cause a miscarriage so there’s a small happy ending.

You come up meet up go to the carnival have a great time go to Denny’s :P spend the night at Tio’s and forever how long you stay I cook for you guys during which sex comes up one of us or both of us chicken out but sooner or later we do and I borrow Rache to compare and contrast so I can give a proper judgment :D (nah just kidding) nothing but happiness till you go after you tell me you’re pregnant so I tag along and we tell Aiden and I take the beating for you cause I don’t wanna see the light go out of your eyes or he goes on a raging spree then after he calms I compromise by moving out there get a job apartment nearby to show how faithful I am and that I’ll stay and raise our son.

Holy s**t I just realized that dream of you and your son he’s mine..... wow  

　

This is how it would go if you came up:

James is along we have a good time and at some point me and you have sex you get pregnant and to keep it a secret let him think he’s the father but it’s really me who’s the dad and the why is because of Aiden let him be pissed off at James not me because one day we’ll tell him the truth and that’s when you tell me the reason for loving me same as what Emmy said and the Spice Girls "You’ll always be there for me no matter what" and we can talk to each other on the phone instead of texting and if Aiden found out you’d lose that forever.....

　

　

　

Damn I thought me wanting to be the father of your son was me being selfish but nooooo the selfish part was having to keep it from aiden and s**t damn not even rache and seth knew wow well now they do :P

　

Weird I wonder why I keep having these dreams it’s like my future self wants me to know that I’m gonna be in a better mood and place when different people cross my path meh guess that’s the message he wants to send to me heh so strange.

So yeah that’s the whole deal and what not so if you do get a chance find a payphone and ring me up :P just make sure you have exact change V_V cause I can’t teleport change to you or astrally drop it in your pocketbook :P although I CAN drop something else astrally inside you :P >< and no not a flashlight there’s no on/off button :D hahhahahahahahahaha

　

oooooo that reminds me Friday I saw a lil boy in Sheetz and he looked like me when I was 4-5 curly hair weird huh? But anyway so yeah give me a text or something whenever you get the chance

　

wuv you!!!!!!!!!!!!