Here's how I imagine it

I might be crazy. I don't know, but this is something I imagine happening to me, and I like it.

Heres how i imagine it. Me sitting on the floor in an all white room,it's empty. I have on nothing but a measly white gown my hair is long and messy, I've been crying. A large knife in my right hand shines with the reflection of a florescent light in the distance.I smile not a joyous smile but, a hurtful one. One of hatred and sadness and of complete loss of hope. A carless smile filled with relief. Relaxed, set free if you will. I stare at the knife in my hand contemplating it's every detail. It's made in China, hmm no surprise there. Made of stainless steel as smooth as the lenses of my glasses used to be. Of course they're all scratched and worn out now. The handle is made of what I presume is a very hard plastic. It too is smooth like the blade, but as black as the dirt on my feet. It was, or it seemed, exceptionally ... beautiful. Without thinking twice I pierce it into the middle of my stomach. I know in my head that there's pain, but I don't feel it. It's hard, or rather, it's impossible, to describe the feeling going through me at the moment. But as the taste of blood rushed into my tung so did the blood itself rush thrown out of my mouth. And when I took in the image of that spotless white floor now filled with the thick pigment of my blood ... all I could do was smile.Smile the strangest smile ever seen. What most people would generalize as "crazy". A smile horrendous to anyone who saw it, but a smile that to me was the most amazing smile I had ever managed to smile. The most psychopathic, insane, pleasurable smile. The most painful.I twirled the knife inside me so as to imitate the wrapping of spaghetti on a fork, only with my intestines. Heh imagine that on your plate. As my insides tighten I feel the sharpness of the knife ripping through them and causing them too spin in the opposite direction. Reminds me of those twirling fireworks or a wind wheel when you when you blow on it on a sunny spring evening. And with that, I collapse. My legs still folded and the pool of blood that had been collecting below my chest lie vividly contrasting the white, the peaceful, floor. In a last effort to better my appearance I struggle to "fix" my hair only making it messier, I smear a dragged hand of blood on my face. With an indescribable emptiness taking the last of the life in my eyes... I let my hand fall as to reach out to the last thought in my head ... you.Nostalgia filling the last of my feelings, I use my concluding breath to ask " am I pretty ..now?..." And at that moment all conscious life flows out of me with the end of the gushers of blood spewing from me with every pulse, and I lay there ... Dead. Eyes open with the blankness of something that was never alive. Smiling, that smile....

Author's Note

I have no idea how to write or anything I just think of thinhs. Please tell me what you think

Reviews

[Aeon]

Love the imagery. Dark and chaotic

[Denisse Atz. Garcia]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate you reading it.