Knight in distress and Princess in shining armor

Once upon a time, there lived a princess by the name of Isabella who was, at the time six. Isabella had long brown curls, large emerald orbs, and porcelain skin.
She was at the time, running away from the guards. When a dragon swooped down out of nowhere and flew off with Isabella in its clutches, heedless of her screams. Though she did stop screaming after she found out that it was useless.

Then, some weeks after Isabella (or Izzy for short) was kidnapped. There was a little prince by the name of James. Who was gallantly ridding to save Izzy while wearing armor that was a size too big, a sword too heavy, and a pony not properly trained; but alas, that was all he could do on short notice.
And thus, our story begins.

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When Izzy was rudely dropped off by the dragon in a high tower on a barren mountain, she sat down deciding how she would escape. Well, maybe a rope would be nice. But how would I get that? Izzy thought.
Izzy looked around for awhile, and then clapped her hands together. I got an idea! It’s not fool-proof, highly likely that it’s not going to work, but it’s worth a try. Izzy decided, so she waited until evening. When the dragon came to see what she was doing. When the dragon appeared, Izzy looked at it with teary eyes, and then buried her face in her hands.
The dragon, feeling pleased that he (for the dragon was a male) caused Isabella misery, was going to go when Izzy cried out weakly, “Wait. Don’t go…”
The dragon stopped and turned back towards Izzy. “I-I need fabric” Izzy said between sobs. “Other wise I would be wearing rags, and would not be very nice to look upon.”
The dragon grumbled, but brought some old curtains as fabric the next day; but Izzy simply looked at them and said, “I need more if I’m going to make a dress.” And so this routine went on for quite some time before Izzy was pleased with the amount.
When the last curtain came in the window Izzy said, “That will do.” and tried to look like she was sewing. (Even though she didn’t have any needles, or thread for that matter… But the dragon hadn’t noticed, so she was fine.)
Isabella worked diligently for some time pretending to be sewing and covering up the knots when the dragon came; and tying strong knots when he wasn’t.
Then, after two-and-a-half weeks of pretending and hard-core tying, she had a rope!
The rest of the day she cataloged her information on the dragon, and a more detailed plan of her escape.
Izzy looked out of her window every hour roughly, for she did not have a cloak, and examined the dragon’s lair. So the sounds that sound like snoring are during the night after he visits me. So escape time is: some time during the night.
So the evening came when the dragon visited her, she was weeping crocodile tears in the corner. When he left, Izzy got up and checked all of the knots so that she would not fall to her death. After she checked them all, she tied the rope to the bottom of the bed, and then she braced the bed, so that it would not move.
After Izzy finished her preparations, she ripped her dress a little above her knees. Now I’m ready. She thought and threw the rope out of the window. Of course, she followed shortly after.
The going was fairly easy, until she came to the five-ish last feet. Then, three things happened. One: there was no more rope. Two: the bed stood up on the headrest area.
Three: (this is better) because of problem number two, the rope lengthened enough for her to jump down safely.
Izzy then looked for somewhere to hide, for if the bed fell down, the dragon
would probably wake up. As Izzy looked around, she found a narrow opening that
she could barely go through for it was so small; and it turned out to be a secret
passageway. If I knew about this I would’ve escaped sooner… or not. Izzy
    thought as she got to the part of the stairs that were falling apart from old age.
Just as Izzy was turning back, to run through the barren ground to the forest, there was a loud thump from above. “Aw flying donkeys and beetles worth.” Izzy said before she ran to a place where she would not be visible from the openings.

There was a loud thump from the tower and the dragon raised his massive crimson head. He grumbled to himself, cross for being woken from his slumber. “Knights” he growled, began to bend his wings, and then lifted off in the direction of the tower.

Izzy stiffened when she heard the thump of the dragon landing that came a couple of minutes after the other thump that had come from the bed. Izzy tried to hide as she heard the dragon grumble, “probably took the girl already” and left, either in pursuit, or he gave up. Either way, he left so it was safe for Izzy to run. And Izzy was out of that tower and in the forest in a matter of seconds.
After Izzy had ran into the reaches of the trees, she stopped for a breather. While Izzy rested, she took the time to think. Well, maybe if I’m lucky and a ‘gallant’ knight is on his way to save me. So I should try the shadows of the road. Then as she finished that thought, she ran off towards the road.

While all of this exciting stuff was happening to “princess” Isabella (for she did not act like a princess should) a boy of seven by the name of James, was learning how to use a sword properly; when the news of Isabella’s kidnapping came to his ears. After he heard, he dropped his sword and rushed off to his father. “Father. Father!” James said as his father the king came into sight. “Father!” James said one last time before he collided with the king. “Father, I just heard that Princess Isabella was kidnapped. Is it true?” he asked, his eyes wide and trusting.
“Why yes, I believe it is.” The king replied, his bushy brown eyebrows drew together in thought. “But I don’t think that you are ready to gallop off and save anyone yet. And I don’t think that Isabella will need help anyway.” He said as he looked down at his son.
“But Father!” James complained.
“No but’s!” His Father replied strongly and then walked off in his regal robes to whatever matters concerned him today. James looked after his Father and sulked. But I could do it if I tried… and of course Isabella needs saving. She’s a princess. Then he sat on that thought a little. Or actually, she might not be a princess. James then shook his head and thought firmly, no! I am going to save Isabella and prove that I can do it. He then plotted when he would do it; and he did actually do it later in the week. For the King had gone on a trip to the next country over and had left only a nanny to watch James. When his nanny thought he was sleeping, and when the rest of the castle was, he got up and snuck out of the back door to the stables. When he got to the stables he went to look for his favorite horse, only to find that the only horse left in the stables was a pony, that was bought last week and had not gotten an opportunity to be trained. Oh well, he thought I guess I can’t be picky. He thought with dismay, and saddled the pony up.
After he had saddled the pony, he looked for some armor; but there was none small enough for him. I can’t be picky… he thought yet again, and picked up the only sword in the garrison that wasn’t taken with was way too heavy for him, and thought the same dismayed thoughts. Then, with a sigh, he put on all his gear, got on the horse, and started on his way. Though he had forgotten the food, he would not need it, for Isabella was perfectly capable of saving herself.
As James was ridding through the forest, he remembered that he forgot to bring food. For his poor little tummy was grumbling loud enough for it to be heard from miles away… Or so he thought. In reality only he could hear it; and as the day wore on the grumbling got worse and worse, until he sighed and the grumbling seemed to come out of his mouth too, as well as his stomach. As James rode on he looked at the scenery and enjoyed the breeze, or was until a girl came out of the trees and yelled at him, “It took you long enough!”
James was startled and stopped his pony and turned towards the sound. “W-who are you?” He asked.
“A little too hesitant, for my would-be savior!” Isabella said as she stomped up towards him. “Well, are you going to take me back to my castle or not?” Izzy asked, looking up at him on his horse. “Well?”
“Um… well I can’t just take you back now, aren’t I supposed to fight a dragon or something?” He asked.
“Well, not now obviously, I’m standing right in front of you! Now let’s get going.” She said as she climbed up on his pony. “What? Never seen a princess capable of taking care of herself for once?” She asked rudely to James gawking face.
“Um…” James started.
“We don’t have all day! Start up the pony and take me out of here!” Izzy exclaimed.
Maybe she didn’t need saving after all… James thought miserably as he took her back to her castle.

A few years later when Isabella when was almost twelve, she got kidnapped by trolls, but saved herself by tricking the trolls, her super tomboy-ness and her just being awesome. As well as a miserably depressed James when he was on his way to save her but she saved herself again. One would think that he would learn by then.

A Knight in distress and a Princess in shining armor

A few years later (again) when Isabella was sixteen and James was seventeen, someone got kidnapped, but you would never guess who…

One day, James was partying with his friends after he had won a jousting match, in a nearby tavern. In fact, he drank so much that he got a little tipsy and while he was walking home, he met a little girl who had tugged on his shirt. “Yes?” He asked while moving side to side.
“Could you help me mister?” the girl asked, with her oceanic eyes looking up and him.
“Sure.” He replied when he should not have, for he was tipsy; but it was because he was tipsy that he didn’t think and went along with the little girl who looked so innocent in her white dress, with her blond hair tumbling down, holding her bear in one hand. But of course, if he didn’t follow the girl, this would not be a story.
James followed the little girl to a place that was very rundown. He looked for the little girl for she just disappeared, and started saying, “hey, where did you-” when he turned a corner and got hit by a log, hard enough to be knocked-out. When he fell down, the girl came out shadows, and started to say, “That’s what you get for trusting too easily prince.” Then started to laugh evilly, before she disappeared into the shadows; taking the prince with her.

The next day James woke up lying on a feathered bed still slightly tipsy. He looked down and saw that he was wearing a pink dress. “I do like pink.” He started, “And did I mention that this dress shows off my figure?” He finished, asking no one in particular. Then he got up and stumbled over to the window in a tipsy manner. “Wow, I’m so high up.” He said dreamily. The he stuck this head out of the window and started to pull his hair, as if it would lengthen from just that. “How on earth did Rapunzel do this?” He asked himself, and gave up after awhile. “I’ll just wait for my prince in shining armor to save me.” He slurred out and went to lie down on his bed until then, acting like Sleeping Beauty.

The next day it became evident at the kingdom of Acarth that James had disappeared, or at lest to the king and the royal family. The King paced back and forth in his study, thinking of what to do. During the night he had gotten a message from James’ kidnapper that said:
I have your prince, James, in a tower in the middle of nowhere
If you would like him back, you’ll have to tell your whole kingdom about his kidnapping, and then have someone save him.
Or I could just keep him as a pet.
The Kidnapper
    The King was thinking about whether or not he should tell for it would bring great shame to his family, but of course, if the kingdom found out anyway, that would also bring shame to his family/kingdom. He sighed and started thinking again. Though while he was thinking about this, his youngest daughter was visiting Isabella and told her everything, not just something but everything; and Isabella was laughing, rolling on the ground for roughly five minutes. “T-that’s something that he would do.” Isabella said.
    “Yep, just can’t help himself can he?” The King’s youngest daughter, Elizabeth replied. “He’s so incapable of doing anything.” She sighed.
    Isabella had a smile on her face, but it wasn’t just any old smile, it was her mischievous smile. She listened to Elizabeth for an hour more before Elizabeth had to go and then she snuck off to her own preparations for saving Prince James. For she had not been idle in the time she was not kidnapped by the things (dragons, trolls etc) that her dad had bribed with gold (for she was never in captivity long enough to be rescued at marriageable age), she had been learning how to fight with just about anything, before her dad found out and fired her tutors, but of course she just hired another one; and the cycle just kept on going that way. She also learned how to ride horse back and do other things that would help in survival or something else.
    When she was sure that Elizabeth had left, she took stuff secretly and piled them in a place where she could grab them easily in the dark. She also took other stuff from right under the cooks’ noses, and other necessities that she thought that she would need.
    When the evening turned dark and she felt that the castle should be asleep, she tiptoed out of her room and to the back of the stable where she had hidden all of her stuff. After she put on all of the stuff, she got her favorite horse; a black and brown stallion named Coble, saddled and then took of in the direction of the tower, or where the only tower for miles around was.

    An update on James’ miserable life in the tower: the morning after he acted like a moron and tried acting Rapunzel, he woke up with a massive hangover from all the ale that he had drunk, and sat down for half the day for the headache to go away. After that the little girl that had looked so innocent before she hit him with a log, and in fact, still looked innocent, came in wearing all black, clutching her bear and started to torture him. What the girl did is that she took his still aching head and knocked on it lightly, which set shocks of pain that shot all through his body. Though that was only one of them; she also stood by his ears and whispered things in his ears that made him, ashamed, embarrassed, etc. After that, he just lay in pain, and exhausted, thinking about what would happen to him in the tower in the middle of the forest all alone.

    While James was in pain, his father found out a plan to stop any people who might try to save James if they thought that there was a reward at the end. So that was what Isabella ran into on the second day of traveling and high speed.
    Isabella was ridding her horse on the second day, just as it was turning into night, and heard it first. There was a deep, rumbling ground and then she saw a shadow that looked like a dragon that was extremely far away. Isabella was taken by surprise, and so was Coble, for he reared up and almost dropped Isabella; but she held on fine, and steadied Coble while she was at it. She waited till she heard it again and then realized that, there was an almost invisible shadow attached to it. So that’s it: a kite with movable limbs. The King probably made it so that they weren’t disgraced too much, or it’s just to scare away rescuers. Sorry old man, I’m not getting scared that easily. Isabella thought and then continued on here way.
    That night Isabella rested close enough to see the tower, but in enough coverage to make sure that nobody could see her from the tower; and while she was enjoying her dinner of bread and cheese, she saw a sight that almost made her chock on her food from laughing. She saw James resting on the windowsill trying to clear out his head with some fresh air, when he looked down, hearing laughter. For Isabella saw him wearing his pink dress, that had the puffiest sleeves ever. Isabella could not help herself, she just had to let it out; and that she did. And it was let out loud. So loud that James found her hiding spot and threw a shoe that was close by and threw it in the direction of her laughing; and bull’s-eye he hit! So there for Isabella replied in her own way. So took her sketchbook out and drew James perfectly in his pink dress, then showed him. “Hey!” He exclaimed, just as the door opened and the little girl appeared in the doorway wearing such an innocent smile that it was scary. “So, who were you talking to?”
    “N-no one.” James replied, paling at the sight of her.
    “You’re sure?” She asked again, coming closer.
    “Y-yes!” James stammered, shrinking in his clothes. She looked out the window and saw Isabella standing in plain view, sticking her tongue out at her and making other rude gestures. “You positive that she wasn’t there before?” She asked him, on her tiptoes so that she could whisper it in his ear.
    “Y-yes!” He managed to get out.
    “Aw come on! Don’t listen to him, he’s lying.” Isabella yelled from the ground, then continued, “Come on down, or I’m coming up, witch!” The witch turned and looked down at Isabella and then ignored her, thinking that she couldn’t really do anything; but of course, you just don’t ignore Isabella's, otherwise they come up and attack you, and believe it or not, but that’s just what she did. Isabella climbed up the wall of the tall tower, with little difficulty and when the witch had just turned on James, knocked her on the side of the head so hard that, the little girl just fell down senseless.
    “Come on, oaf.” Isabella said while James was gawking. “Or would you rather stay in the company of your kidnapper/torturer?” She asked smiling with complete satisfaction.
    “I think I’ll come with you.” James said finally and then Isabella grabbed him by the arm and went on down those stairs, throwing him on her horse, dress and all, and then galloping off towards Acarth like no one’s business.
    When they arrived in the Kingdom, Isabella made sure to ride through the main streets so that they could see their beloved prince in a pink dress being rescued by a princess wearing armor; and just to make things worse she started to say, “This is the knight in distress, and I am the princess in shining armor.” as she walked down the streets.

    And, of course, since this story needs a happy ever after, Isabella and James got married the next year and the kingdoms never had a more interesting queen and king.

THE END

© 2011 StillShorterThanYou

Author's Note

anyone that thinks you have read this story before, odds are that you have. I decided to change the format to a story and it was going fine. I had changed the format to story saved it and it had saved the changes... AND THEN i pressed the X to delete the twisted fairytales and it deleted both this story and saving the dragon! I could kill writerscafe right now!!