Failing to Feel

As the day's distractions decrease Pain emerges from beneath The smiling faces that we wear To pretend the pain is not there.

Lying in bed, there is nothing to keep

Thoughts preventing me from sleep.

From my heart to my eyes feelings creep,

But I cannot allow myself to weep.

I try to make the aching stop

By searching cyberspace from my laptop.

Yet it is only an hour or two

Before the pain starts anew.

I scan the room and look back at the screen.

"I wish I had someone other than this machine."

Shaking my head, I banish the thought,

Not wanting to become distraught.

Then an idea pops in my head

And I eagerly climb out of bed.

Perhaps all I need is a snack

To get my daily resolve back.

It is dark and I'm the only one awake

Which only adds to the feelings I must shake.

Turning on a light, I muse aloud

About foods picked and calories allowed.

Around the kitchen I start to pace,

Using words and movement to fill empty space.

But again my efforts have failed

To keep my true emotion veiled.

With a heavy heart in tow,

Back to my room I go

To pull out my laptop once more.

There's a new purpose it is for.

My fingers strike the keys

And tears form in my eyes,

As I craft a poem to release

These feelings that will not cease.

Author's Note

Do you ever 'fail to feel' in the sense you try to prevent yourself from experiencing painful emotion?

Reviews

[thetish]

Perhaps my problem is the opposite? I feel so deeply, wearing my emotions on my sleeves. Your words here speak to my soul- to the seeking, searching it does. Thank you.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Love this writing. Very well written and having suffered from many restless long nights you have expressed how it is and that until I write something about my feelings rest will not come.