ABANDONED

What happened to "for better or for worse,til death do us part"

We met when we were young

Stung by love, we fit perfect, like a glove

You told me you would never abandon me

We were meant to be, at least that's what it felt like to me

We encountered many trials and tribulations

Which in fact strengthened our bond

As time went by, I could feel your love fade away 

I thought you were my queen

Unannounced, randomly, you abandoned me

I gave you my life, in return you thrust a knife into my heart

Now its beats are far apart

I stand alone on a rainy day, watching myself decay

I wish we never met

I wish I could press reset to forget.......

Author's Note

You could have told me to my face, not through a text. How cowardly of you! This happened years back. I'm over it.........

Reviews

[RachelReaper]

I keep feeling the words replay in my mind. Powerful.

[Pixals]

So much emotion in such simple words. I love it. I feel like I can relate to each and every one your poems.

[Rob Santana]

Thanks Pixals ;)

[Damien Davison]

Reminds me of a friend who's woman, who actually had is daughter, just took off... Nice write, I like how it read.

[Rob Santana]

Thanks one of my first writes,pushing to write better, all in good time.

[MOON]

Poignant write , emotional . Press reset to forget good line.

[Rob Santana]

Thank you moon

[A Teenage Girl]

This is a very strong piece. It's nice. But like J.E. Cardwell said, the rhyme scheme is a little awkward. But it's still good. (:

[Rob Santana]

thank you. I was thinking of editing it but Im not. This one and my other poem PAIN are my first 2 writes. I thought I would leave those as is so I can look back and remember how I started.

[A Teenage Girl]

That's a great idea, or maybe you could correct this poem and submit your corrected version...? Just an idea.

[Rob Santana]

you know what?........Im gonna correct it. Give me a couple of days and it will be done... Im gonna credit you for the encouragement to do it....haha,give me a couple of days,im working on another write,but I will corrrect it.....check out UNLEASHED tell me what you think of that one....

[J.E. Stroud]

It's good but in my opinion could use some fine-tuning. It suffers from an odd rhyme scheme, eg some words on the same line rhyming, others following an ABAB schedule. Were it a little more...erratic, this wouldn't be an issue, however it all feels a bit contrived, and, as such, the improper scheme is jarring, to me. Also I'd avoid cliches such as 'trials and tribulations'...the whole point of writing is to explore language in new ways! I think you could produce really great stuff if you just let yourself flow more and didn't think so much about what was coming out of your headspace. There's minor grammatical/punctuation errors but the fix to those mostly is reading other's work-or so I've found! Hopefully you don't find my criticism offputting or overwhelming!

[Rob Santana]

Thank you for your honesty. Your right I do think to hard when Im writing,hahaha,your good what did you do call the psychic network,hahaha. Again thank you for your honesty,trying to develop a sharper writing style.

[J.E. Stroud]

It can be really overwhelming to try to start writing-whether you're seasoned, or it's your first time and you feel everyone has some sort of head start on you. They definitely don't, and there's plenty of time to find yourself, and, more importantly, what you want to say!

[Rob Santana]

hhmm,well said. I see a huge amount of awesome writers here. It can be intimidating at times. Im new at this so I will continue to write til I find my style of writing,whatever that may be.

[Mr Dunne Poetry]

Wow. This is such a powerful piece of poetry, I love the emotion here.
I was abandoned by my alcoholic birth Mother aged three, then again by my Father and step Mother in my 20's due to my Daughter being born mixed race. Abandonment nearly destroyed me. If it weren't for my poetry, it may well have.
Thanks for sharing Creeper :)

[Rob Santana]

Hey no prob brother,writing has done the same for me.so we move on.

[Mr Dunne Poetry]

That's good to hear. We should do. Thanks again bro :)

[DreamCastor]

I love the way I can feel the passion within the poem and it ignites a deep yearning within me.

[Rob Santana]

Thank you for your kind words. :)

[DreamCastor]

Your welcome :)

[Muse]

reset button..I think god forgot that one. Otherwise Eve would have been erased. Would have solved the woman problem eons ago.

[Rob Santana]

hahaha,no s**t right......

[Muse]

ha ha ha..guess I just bashed all the woman. My apologize out there.