Through the looking glass

a short story

I hate my life.
Every since I accidently totaled my mom's car things have been going down hill. It wasn't my fault a damn deer came out of nowhere. I have lost touch with my friends, I can't concentrate in school, I no longer crave the same things and I'm caring less and less about what I look like every day and my skin is looking clammy and colorless. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been sleeping in the guest room. Nothing just seems right anymore.
“Mom? Mom! Mom, are you home?” I shout throwing my backpack on the couch.
Silence.
“That figures.”
I walk to the kitchen and look in the fridge for something to settle my over active stomach.
Nothing.
“D****t Crystal.” I swear she’s lost it. She acts like it’s the end of the world. I mean the car was a ‘98 Honda. I can understand that she’s made but Jesus does she have to make us all starve. It hurts though. She doesn’t even talk to me anymore. I do little fatuous things like calling her by her first name(Crystal), making rude comments, or swearing in front of her to piss her off, but she doesn’t budge.
I spot a banana on the counter, and decide it eat it. It’s better than nothing. As I walk out the kitchen I see a blue folded piece of paper on the table. For some reason it drew my attention and I couldn’t resist. I sit down and pick up the paper.
On the front are the dates Jan 16, 1989- March 26,2007. There’s a big picture of a rose and a little girl on the front but her face is blurry. It’s an obituary.
‘This is probably why Moms so bombed out’. I think to myself.
I find myself tracing the outline of the picture with the tip of my finger. It’s just something about the girl that seems so familiar.
I jump at the sound on footsteps. I put the paper down when I notice it’s mom. And like always she walks right past me.
“Hey Mom.” I say try to acknowledge that I am her. She doesn’t respond..
When she turns around her eyes are sulken and red. Her face is pale and her hair hadn’t been combed.
“Mom. Are you o.k?: I ask
I touch her face and she jumps. Fear replace the coldness in her eyes.
“What the hell mom. What’s wrong with you?”
She’s starting to freak me out. Instead of her saying anything, she just walks away.
“Mom. Stop ignoring me! I’m sorry about the car!” I argue as I follow her upstairs. She stops at my room.
She pauses for a minute and soft sniffles breaks the silence.
“I wish you were here Rebecca.” I hear her say to herself before closing the door.
“Mom, I’m right here. What are you talking about.”
Growing agitated I grab the door knob to my room.
Before I could jump back a shock goes through my body and I fell this head queching pain. I let go off the knob and reach for my head. I clasp my eyes shut as I grow dissy. Pain rushes through me as I fall against the wall. Flashes from the wreck dash across my eyes. I cream out in pain.
It takes a few seconds for the throbbing to go away. Using the wall for support, I stand up. It doesn’t take long for me to realize a plaque hanging beside my door. As I read it, my eyes to water and it feel like someone just punched me in my chest. My eyes water and my throat goes dry . The plaque reads,
“January 16, 1989- March 26,2007. In loving memory Rebecca James.

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems.
What do you think?

Reviews

[Darksideofman]

I know I am supposed to ingnore the grammer problems so I wont point them out. I will say you have run-on sentences and other problems that distract from the read however. I know Grammer is a hard part for most of us to get to. I know I have been penning a novel for five years and I am still on only chapter five because when I think I have found them all, new ones come from nowhere. I know what it is like to ask to ignore Grammer and spelling but we as the writter need know it does no justice to the reader or ourselves to such. The writter misses many mistakes because we are not objectional of ourselves. The reader is a valuable tool at your disposal. Use them because they will tell you many things you might have looked over and hadn't. I will say the story was enjoyable, I liked the read and will read more of your work but again, I would like to re-read it when the errors are corrected to see how it has grown. You have good bones here and I will check back l8r.

[Jenn]

I like your narrative voice in this story. It's very natural, and it has a good flow to it. The only critique I have of this story is it's a little confusing to connect Crystal as being Rebecca's mom. Best thing about this story for me: I love the irony in the opening line.

[Nina Marie]

Wow that was amazing. Incredible voice, and the twist was neat. This would make for a good book if it had a proper plot. Like, more to the story and what happens after Rebecca realizes she's dead. However you might wish to reread this for the mistakes you've got in it. Their aren't too many, but you've got some and it would be helpful to go back and correct them
Great read, very interesting.