The Spectacular Dilemma

Life situations that take post introverted thought to understand.

So, it begins early on you know, when all likely hood of having a friend to accompany you in the cafeteria filled with cliques- has a forecast of zero chance. The "in and out" crowds, the jocks, the bookworms, and of course, those without anyone to have those colorful conversations with about your life as a whole. Therefore they remain sheltered from the world and look at as unapproachable because of the stoic look fixated on their mug. Trust me. That look is just the gray, wet dish towel feel of knowing how far out that having a circle of friends a distant reality. Low and behold, and a firm press of the fast forward button for time and life sake, its the four of the closest friends you've ever had. The look and feel of an intimidating S.E.A.L.S. team but the closeness and tight knit traits of siblings. You all have a blast. Night in and night out. The laughter and enjoyment gives you vast opportunities to leave any type of worry or situation that spikes your stress meter, at bay. Over and over, you hear, " I'll always be there for you". Or, "we'll always be boys" punchline. In a sense, you really start to wonder that the group of guys you hang with were really meant to be in your life to help you absorb the fiery and hostility of a social nightmare. Life calls. College, the new experiences, and the chance to really see life as you move toward becoming a contributing member of society. That's the goal, but nothing what you could imagine....


This distance is evident, and the feel? Not what it used to be. After a few phone calls and some constant reassurance, you seem to be pacified.

Yet again, it just doesn't feel the same....
If I were on the other end of the line, I'd say "your being a bit too sensitive",
or rather, "dude". "Chill".

Is it because I was once that kid in the lunchroom that had not a soul to laugh with?

Could it be that they were off in school with so much to do that the silent plea of a dear friend was needed to be heard?

Who knows?

The dog days of summer....

Everyone's out. The steady feed of southern heat gives us a constant reminder of where we reside.
The sound of television and lawnmowers one could bear only so much. Now that the streets were as dry as a university's renowned professor, the opportunity came. As we all had a rush job of a conversation,
a popular skate joint was the main attraction of the night. There was all but one problem. We had to compete with mother nature, and at the time the sight of swollen clouds and natural violent electricity didn't bode well with me to venture out somewhere for amusement.

Push........

Broken limbs. Shredded clothes. Insurmountable pain. The gut feeling at the pump told me something and I didn't listen. Now I lay in an ambulance bed with incomparable pain only wondering if this is the extent of a s****y night gone down the toilet.

No, it was the next few years.


All in all, what I have come to realize is that people, strangers, and loved ones all need to go on and experience things in their own light. Whether it be to sow wild oats, learn who they are, or experience the life they couldn't growing up. With this territory, friends may stay, go, or eventually come back to you. For an expectation light of view, a cold way of looking at these scenarios when dealing with people is to look at them with a sense of bonus. I mean after all, we do come in to the world alone and leave it, well, alone also. Acquiring, keeping, and maintaining relationships while having colorful memories of them is a definite bonus in its own right. But the one divine thing that we cannot control is how certain people will react, and we must accept whatever decision that individual makes and to wish them well. Sure we would all love to have a genuine cast by our side or at the other end of the line........

But always factor in the bonus aspect when you realize what company you had in the womb, and the company you have in the grave.