Sin Nombre

There comes a time when I float

through my own nameless river,

sometimes with a taste of salt, 

sometimes with a touch of kohl,

(I call yours).

where a story

(a debilitated home of yesterdays)

breaks into roughhewn fables, 

and soon after, recede as refugees

into the corners and shadows
of a song.

In a metropolis of dots (that look like a comet trail)

where all that needs to be said

seeks shelter under a tree, lost,

in the borders of a forgotten country.

Until all that remain, are the dots

fused into a period.

And is softly pursued by a farewell

where footprints in the river bank

are hushed out, 

where the night and I are on the verge of walking 

to nowhere other than home,

perhaps those hours remain ours, a shallow brook

in which I dream of your arrival

almost as soon as it breaks.

Reviews

[Corset]

obviously I am the one who was meant to be the first on these though they were written in May...?? how is this possible...?? You write incredible poetry, sometimes I think things are just meant to be that way, so others opinions won't cloud the messages that are meant to come as a beacon of light for those who need to contemplate them the most. I don't know, all I can think is that the world is missing out, but I'm lucky enough to see them first. All I have read today makes me think of someone I love, that is a beautiful gift.

[Abhra]

Thanks again for such a great review! Quite honestly I feel kinda bashful to send read requests. I just post poems and forget about it.

[Corset]

I don't send them out either, I think whoever needs to read them (if anyone ) will find them, but your poems SHOULD be read, they are beautiful .

[Emily B]

sometimes i find that the brightest among us doesn't get read as often as they should

words like these deserve appreciation, they should be visited often

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

You are so very gifted with words. Reading your poems brings a feeling of...what is it....comfort, maybe....like a safety net....like reassurance of goodness, and romance.
Another one that makes me use the possibly trite now "beautiful."

I have read so many of your pieces and have yet to find anything that makes me stumble or come out of the daze. In this one I will point out one small thing, and it quite likely could be me:

The "And" in the last stanza just doesn't feel quite right to me. I am not sure what
I would suggest because of the stanza break. Perhaps use "that" and omit the period - that might mess it all up, but you are a word wizard and you find this of any merit I feel sure you will know what to do.