The Trip

About the trip of a young man as he is moving to a new home, across seas. The problems the ship faces, and the realization to what the world truly is.

The day began

The ship set sail

After so much planning 

After all the work

The trip begins

A thousand miles,

Till my life restarts 

And a new home is built. 

The days are short

The nights are cold

The water surrounds us

Teaming with creatures

Creatures of the deep,

Known only to kill

The water erupts 

The creatures burst forth

The ship cracks

Broken in half

The men are scared

Terrified and afraid.

The lifeboats filled

Yet still some remain

Those who find land

Will never be the same.

Author's Note

Any help would be nice, with grammar and ideas just to make the poem better. I love writing poems, but I am not that good at it.

Reviews

[Dani The Unreviewed]

A very well done piece. I'm not seeing any problems with it. You took me to the scene, when the ship starts to sink. Yep, i'm no expert with poems, but i bet, this one is great. Keep it coming.

[Ilerah]

Thank you I really appreciate it

[Dani The Unreviewed]

You are welcome.

[Riley Justine]

Surrounds*
The last few lines are my favourite