Fallen (part one?)

An idea I've been toying with for a little while today. He's a demon(/fallen angel), she's the physical embodiment of Redemption (in a wild form, I guess- she can Forgive anyone she wants just 'cause).

She looked me in the eye.

The entire illusion began to waver; up was becoming up again, my body slowly changing, reverting to the form it was so used to taking, all to the fault of my weakened will. She smiled at me, a few stray strands of hair waving gently in the renewed breeze. "What's the matter, demon?" she whispered sweetly, reaching out to touch me. I recoiled; her touch was painful, a holy burning at even the smallest points the skin of her fingertips touched my arm. It raised the hair on the back of my neck, and I realized with dread that I had never felt any touch so strongly before. Not even when I was alive.

For the first time in my immortal existence, I began to fear for my life (never mind the fact that I was dead, when a woman could touch the immaterial it was generally cause for concern).

"You're shaking." She smiled, pulling her hand away and slipping it back into her pockets. "If you were alive, I imagine you would be sweating, too, wouldn't you?" There was so much to hate about this woman, and not enough to justify it. I was scared of her. Why was I scared of her, a mortal woman with no relation to the clergy. An agnostic, for that matter, who probably wouldn't have called on the Man Upstairs even in the face of a demon. Yet there she stood, staring me down, and I felt so small beneath her gaze. "Poor, poor demon. This isn't what you expected to do at all, is it? Before you fell, I mean."

"No," I answered simply, unwilling to give her any more than that. After all, I reasoned, what right had she to know? It wasn't as though we were going to become friends, though I had yet to decide if she would become anything at all ofter our encounter. I was torn between two ideas, and neither of them were very good ones. I could kill her, I knew, with a single blow, and who would have blamed me? But her gaze didn't waver when I implied, through nonverbal signals, that it could have occurred. I could run, though, I admitted to myself. This idea repulsed me. How would the Boss feel about his prized mischief maker running in the face of a simple mortal woman who, though perhaps intimidating, posed no threat to me at all?

Rock and a hard place. I hissed an obscenity beneath my breath. Six hundred years on the job, and it looked like I was going to begin my bad luck streak now. For once, I envied the blundering new demons who took their bad luck early and stuck it through to get in the Boss's good graces (it had always amused me that he had good graces, to be perfectly honest). I would fall out of favor because of this, no matter what I decided to do. He would smell the fear all over me, and I knew he'd be able to tell it was actually mine this time.

Author's Note

I'd like some insight and opinions on the story idea, pretty please?

Reviews

[Lina Lynn]

This intrigues me. You revealed just enough while keeping enough back to make me look forward to more. Can't wait.

[Aekmy]

You should definetly keep on with this idea. I loved it. The way you wrote it is very proffesional, well to me that is, but i'm not saying it's horrible or bad or even uneducated. Though i was a little confused about his were abouts. Even though you didn't clearly say it made the writing even better. I kept squinting even harder at the screen thinking you had somehow embedded it inbetween the lines. Interesting title also. I presume it is a love, romance, fantasy type ordeal? Whatever the genre you did lovely, dear, keep going and don't give up.