Limbo

And?????????/ :)
what next.
tell, tell, tell.

Posted 12 Years Ago

“Why is everything going so wrong? How did everything get so bad? In one night I’ve lost my home, Evan, and you have the nerve to come here and tell me this bull s**t?” I pointed in his face, spat through my words and developed a new sense of the word hate. I could barely breathe; I was no longer upset; I just didn’t understand why all of the bad things and all of the destruction had to centre on me. I had been victim to it all of my life, there was only so much that I could take before my blood turned sour. The night was contaminated, the water was devious, the ground was desolate, and the world was furtive, but I was the only thing that was damaged. I thought about Joe lying unconscious on the sofa. What would he do to me when he woke up?
“You don’t need to be scared.” The Man insisted. I laughed menacingly.
“Oh believe me, I’m not afraid, I’m prepared.” I began to walk away from the man.
“I died near to where we are right now, I died and nobody knew it.” The man yelled to me. I turned around and looked at him. His pathetic face angered me.
“Yeah? Well I died here too. I died tonight. I died ten minutes ago. It’s me and me alone.” I turned around and carried on walking. The lively side of me had died, the energy had gone, the weak smiles and the blind hope had faded. Ali was dead, somewhere deep inside this body, and to take her place? An echo of how broken I had felt years previous to meeting Evan. That’s all I was. An echo. As I walked in the middle of the road, I felt like a strait jacket should have been pulling me into myself.
“You can all carry on trying to f**k with me! But I don’t give a s**t anymore! You won your sick little games; I hope I’ve been entertaining, I hope I’ve been a thrill!” I screamed. I felt unhinged and yet untouchable.
I wasn’t walking without reason; I was walking back to the flat. I wanted Evan to meet the new Ali, and I wanted to get my stuff and leave. Joe had scared me before, but I didn’t care about fear now. I was fearless, broken to the bone and I was ready to take on the world. Maybe I was being erratic, maybe I needed to sit and consider possible actions, but the air in my lungs was drowning in bitterness and I was choking.

Posted 12 Years Ago