The Ramblings of a Madman

A Story by julius

I have lived in these same empty rooms for longer than I can remember. There is no one else here, except Him. He never tells me his name, never says much of anything, but he's always there. Watching, waiting. Waiting for me to make one wrong move, as I'm bound to eventually. I never know where the next place I'll see him will be. Sometimes I'll see his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Sometimes I'll feel his breath on my neck. He's even smiled at me from the ceiling above my bed. Oh, what an evil smile. He steals my sleep, my soul, my life. Although he has never spoken a word to me, I still know who he is and where he came from.

A long time ago there was a little boy. This boy was... different. Long after all of the other children had given up on their imaginary friends, this boy still talked to his more than he talked to real people. His imaginary friends slowly left him, one by one, but the social damage had been done. All of the boy's classmates were already friends and didn't require his companionship, no matter how desperately he needed theirs. But I digress. Eventually this... loathsome child made a friend, an outcast like him. The Child and the twisted little boy grew together, until they became the Adult and the twisted little man. The Adult got in a terrible accident, which resulted in his hospitalization.

When the sick little man visited his friend in the hospital, a frenzy came over him. He became manic, violent, and frankly horrifying. This was the first time he saw his pursuer. I will get to that later. The monster strangled its friend in his bed, violently bruising his neck. It watched the life drain out of the poor man's eyes, and thought it good. As God created life, so this monster created death. It then went to its own home to increase its death toll. First fell its mother, then its father, and it finally fulfilled its bloodlust with the brutal mangling of its sister. Horrified, realizing what it had done, it turned itself in. Too late. The damage had been done. When it was being interrogated, its pursuer appeared a second time. The officer responible for interrogating him was found dead on the floor, shot with his own gun post-mortem. A few sporadic murders later, it was finally captured. The monster was placed in solitary confinement, where he remains to this day.

The monster, as you have probably guessed, is me. My pursuer is my bloodlust, my insanity, my deepest feelings of lonliness and rejection. He is more human than I. At least he has emotions, unlike the miserable wretch with a ghost of a conciousness that I am. He has a desire, a goal for his life -death?- whatever state of existence he happens to be in. I will escape. I must fulfill his wishes, or else he'll never go away. When I get out I will find you. Maybe we'll have enough time for coffee before I kill you. The bell tolls for everyone. Soon, the bell will toll for you.