My Heroin

The intoxicating feel of blades kissing my skin
This is my heroin
I am addicted to my own pain
Ashamed when seen
New and different ways to cover up
Why should I even give a f**k

Twelve years old that's when it started
Or was it when me and my dad parted?
So many emotions i can not show
All bottled up so no-one will know
A tight burning ball in my chest
It grew the more I went to school
The objects thrown
I just wanted to stay home
The name calling
Body shaming
The tears on my pillow staining
Was this the start of my eating disorder?
Hormonal teenage girl called ugly
Fat
Ridiculed for my gay mum
The bullies had finally won

I need this emotional pain to stop!
Physical pain is the key
I relish the fire on my skin
The blood dripping off my blade
The painful ball in my chest starts to fade

I found my euphoria
The starts of my transition
As this day was the beginning of my addiction

Reviews

[R.E. Ray]

Laura Ann, I'm not as familiar with this "addiction" as others on here. Still, the vivid imagery and overwhelming emotions you convey here are impressive. Frankly, this poem gnawed at me from beginning to end. I can only imagine the pain and anguish, but I have a sharper image than I did before reading your poem. Nice work! I look forward to seeing more of your work.